A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Girls keep calling me a nice guy. Is this a bad thing? Something definitely isn't working because I've never had a real relationship. I never really get close with girls, or talk to them like close friends. I'm "friends" with a lot of girls, but it's no where near the same as my guy friends. Every time I move, or go to a different school, I find out that a few of the girls I liked actually liked me. What am I doing wrong here? Why can't I get a girlfriend? Why aren't girls more obvious about things? I feel like I know what I have to do, but I'm not willing to be more of a douchebag to do it. For example, if a girl is sitting next to me who I think might like me, I won't throw my arm around her and smile and act all cool because I feel too guilty about acting like a douche. It's hard to explain. I'm not worried about the girl's reaction. I'm more worried about what I and others will think of myself for "acting confident". I know what I have to do, but I don't want to lower myself down to that level. Why does it seem like girls want guys to be that way? The whole "confidence" thing is such bullshit. To be confident around girls you have to do things which make guys think you're an asshole. Any advice is nice.
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male
reader, BaggiePantsJr  +, writes (31 July 2009):
Alright peeps this is how it goes and its partially true what the last annonymous guy said. Me myself am a nice guy and have had that problem but ive also been blessed to have a way with words. Yes youll see your friends getting the girl you like and also hear about them screwing them too but youll also hear the drama that comes with it. So far there are 3 types of women that will probably be your muse or hope or what ever you want to call it. Girl a will be that girl that dont date anybody i mean she will be as pure of a girl in this life time youll ever see. Girl b will be the friend thats tired of dating assholes and knows that youre a good guy and will become your fuck buddy and will be something u never ever tell about. Girl c the accident that will shock the hell outta you she will be a older woman has everything u want and willing to give u the time of day cuz she dont give a damn what other ppl say. if you ever get girl a hope like hell she dont get curious because ur such a good guy she wants to experience what the hell is out there. (happened to me) But i met girl c and wasnt even looking it just happened like it was my damn destiny to experience all this shit just cuz and now we are very happy. Be you dont be afraid to date interracially u neva kno what u might find.
Gool Luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, all the answers were very good. The last anonymous male response is what I was thinking before which got me to write this. I feel like I'm missing out, and am going to keep missing out until girls change and have already had a ton of previous boyfriends.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): Define what is a "bad" thing here.
It's not a bad thing. It just means you'll have to wait around on the sidelines while the girls take turns screwing the biggest jerks for a few years first. THEN all the nice guys get their chance, after the jerks are finished with them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): Omg i'm 17 and exactly like you and i've not had a gf myself yet. Being a nice guy is not a bad thing and i don't intend to change my personality as well. My advice is to wait til you find the right person for you which is what i'm doing.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (30 July 2009):
 Always hard to say if the nice guy claim is genuine, but remember, a girl that claims to want a nice guy but who dates jerk, ain't a nice girl.
If a woman wants to be treated badly, then why would you want to date her? Find someone who is looking for what you got to offer, they are out there.
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A
female
reader, kez411 +, writes (30 July 2009):
 i believe that the right girl for you will like you for who you are and not what you think girls want you to be... do not change for anyone... personally i dont like having a boyfriend who is overly confident and big headed i like a nice kind boy who cares for me.... but maybe before you get to friend with girls ask them out... even if its just to chill and see if they flirt and want to be more than friends with you... good luck xxx
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A
male
reader, leopard150 +, writes (30 July 2009):
Not really. If you make yourself heard to girls, and u show them ur confident, then it will be ok. U will be able to get a girl, just make them laugh, tease them, and they start to show hints. try stroking their hair, and try make eye contact then, thats such a good trick to get a kiss :D
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A
male
reader, SweetStu +, writes (30 July 2009):
 No it's not a bad thing. There's a stereo type that women like 'bad boys'. That's like saying men don't like theatre - it's a generalisation and completely unfounded. Some women may find they tend to fancy the 'bad boy', but if that's the case they're not for you. Just be proud of being you, if you're being called a nice guy - take it as a compliment and not how you are taking it at the moment.
Lots of men have friends as girls, sometimes more than men friends. Women are far better at talking about the facts of life and anything deep and meaningful - you sound like a nice guy as you are probably more on their wavelength than some of your male friends.
You sound like a gentlemen, and witholding putting your arm around a girl shows you respect them, and not as many 'lads' your age would do is use them as a trophy, to make themselves look good to others.
Don't worry about what other people think. You're still so young and when you go to college, university or get a job you will soon see the adult world is quite different to school.
Just be yourself, keep it real and happiness will definitely come your way. I know, I've been there.
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A
female
reader, Charlpop +, writes (30 July 2009):
 Being a nice guy is definately not a bad thing! For one thing it makes you way more approachable, but you have to remember that girls don't like making the first move, so if you're not making any moves, they won't either!
Confidence doesn't mean acting like a complete douche, but you could just try talking a little more to girls you like and get to know them. Seriously, we're human! If you're sat next to a girl at school, just make a couple of comments about how the class is boring, or how you want the teacher to spontaneously combust, etc. Talk like you would to guys [as long as you don't start talking about GUY stuff!] and get to be better friends with them.
Hope this helps!
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