A
male
age
36-40,
*njoimx
writes:I am in a relationship where I feel my girlfriend has all the control. She is 21, and I am 24, we have been dating for 2 months. I feel like I love her, but its hard to be happy when I realize that I am soo needy in this relationship. My last relationship by comparison, I had the upper hand, and I took her for granted. I regret taking my ex for granted, but I have apologized and moved on.With my current GF, I feel like I am constantly waiting for her to show me some attention, and when she doesnt, I am crushed. When she does, everything goes great, and we feel very close.Should I break up with my current GF since I am probably not mature enough to be with her, or should I attempt to change the way I react to her?It should be noted that I have a deep feeling in my heart that this relationship wont work because of my insecurity in the relationship. But she is an amazing girl, and I really want it to work. Thanks for the advice!
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male
reader, LampHead  +, writes (25 February 2009):
 I was in the same situation as you were. I ended it. Isn't it strange, the way, even though they seem to not be giving you attention, they are never the one to end it? She will realise and regret what she did to you. In relationships, it's all about making an effort. That's what I told my ex-girlfriend anyway. She has come back to me now, and has apologised profusely about what she did. She has also told me she still loves me, and even though I ended it, I still loved her, and still do deep down, but couldn't see myself carrying on when I did end it. I think I may be getting back together with this girl now, so there is hope. If you really can tell it wont work, and you have asked her to change, and she hasn't, then end it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2009): Im in the SAME boat man. Im always pushing to spend time with my GF and wanting to talk and be all cuddly. I seem to do it WAY more than she does and it crushes me when she just ignores it or changes the subject. I Hate the feeling. I feel absolutley useless. Like she dosent need me the way i need her. So i know where ur coming from.
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A
female
reader, cella  +, writes (25 February 2009):
 hi,i have read your question a few times to try to understand what exactly it is you want.in all honesty i dont think you really know yourself.you are lacking in self confidence and you feel you need affection to make you feel good about yourself.it is in your own hands to be happy not up to your girlfriend,however life situations such as a relationship that is lacking in affection can trigger your emotions.you need to go to the beggining,how you have treated others or how theyve treated you may have a skeletons in your closet that need to be delt with,before really being happy with someone.love cella
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A
female
reader, michele21 +, writes (25 February 2009):
 ok so she is a amazing girl and you "think" you love her but deep down you don't think its going to work...well i say if your having those feelings its probably not going to work...what you need to do is just sit her down and actaully tell her why you are insecure and what you two can do to fix the problem at hand COMMUNICATION is key i can't stress that enough....i very open with my boyfriend as he is with me about anything and everything and it makes the relationship and our feelings for one another that much more satifying you know...good luck hope it works out for you.
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