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In love with my first cousin, should I pursue it or not?

Tagged as: Dating, Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 May 2009) 9 Answers - (Newest, 6 June 2009)
A female Philippines age 26-29, *oca writes:

Im deeply inlove with my 16 yr. old first cousin. I had my first kiss from him, i dont know if he loves me too. I sometimes caught him staring at me, what does that mean? And I dont know why did he kissed me that time? I loved him since I was 6-7 yrs. old until now. Should I tell him that I love him? And if we're together it feels like there is something between us.

What should I do to be sure that he loves me too?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2009):

I think he is in love with you and is afraid that he might ruin the two familiy's relationship. I think what you should do is..see that if ur parents would be ok with it.and if so and both of u are in love you should pursue it..I know it is a wonderful love because it seems you guys have a lot to share since you have been together for that long...good luck....

M.A.....

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009):

as far as i feel when emotion kicks in there is no place for logic.............. if you believe you are happy and the feeling is true then you should first ask him whether he to shres the same feeling?and if he does then i,m sure u two should just be confident enought to talk it out with your family

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009):

The only thing between you two is blood. Prepare for the possiblity of a retarded future if you choose to follow your lust to your cousin. Stop listening to your vagina and use your head on your shoulders!! Go and look for another guy and drop the fantasy with the cousin. It's not healthy and certainly not sexy in any way.

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A male reader, abhimen India +, writes (18 May 2009):

Hi moca, after reading your story i feel you both are in love for sure so better break the barrier and confess that you love him.

I'm really happy that you spent such a lovely night, that's the best thing that could ever happen. Its the signal that you both are made for each other now just go and tell him what both of u actually feel.

I'll pray for your positive future.

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A male reader, abhimen India +, writes (18 May 2009):

hii i also really love my cousin so i know how it feels. i'll definitely encourage you to go & grab your happiness & not others decide your life. so go for it & be a hope for me too & support me too plz.i need your help

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A female reader, Moca Philippines +, writes (17 May 2009):

Moca is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Please read my story I need some more advices and answers.. Thanks for those who helped. I really thank you guys!!!

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A female reader, Moca Philippines +, writes (16 May 2009):

Moca is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well first of all I thank you for answering my question. Luckily I saw this webiste where you can post your questions lol hahaha Im so happy someone replied to my query.

Because Im in the Philippines and my cousin whom I love is in Hongkong, we rarely see each other. We see each other every vacation like on christmas and summer. But you know everytime he's here with the family for a vacation, when we bond together with other cousins like going to the pool or to the mall, we really dont talk that much not like my sister she's very close to my cousin. I dont know why we dont talk a lot it seems like there's something going on between us.

So this last last summer vacation that was april 2007, this is when the "kiss" happened. In this vacation, he seemed different to me, I mean he treated me really different. Like there was one instance that I was on the car alone and he came inside and sit beside me and he jokingly said that 'we are breaking up" i dont know that time he's so weird to me. And also, it was their last night here in the philippines and we were with our friends in our compound, enjoying their last night in the philippines that time. I was sitting on a see-saw and he came to me, and I was surprised when he put his face on mine and nearly kiss me and oh I dont remember what happened next that time. and when we were getting ready to go to bed, (because before when we're younger we used to sleep in one room all of my cousin) so his place on the bed is on the end of the three beds put together and I was next to him. before going to bed, I went to the bathroom to get ready and when I came back in the room, the lights were off and my pillow was on different place, it was placed at the end of the bed where my "cousin" used to sleep (Im sure that my "cousin" put it there but I dont know why he did that). So my place is at the end and he is beside me. That time he always ask me to massage his hands until he got to sleep. All my cousins in the room was sleeping except for me and "him". so I was facing him And he was facing me too. I taught he was sleeping so I closed me eyes and suddenly I felt someone touching my lips with a finger so I opened my eyes and POOF it was him. And then he touched my face and pulled it to his and I closed my eyes and I can fee that he was kissing me already so I kissed him back (just a smack on the lips) and I pushed back so we stop kissing and he hugged me so tight that he put his blanket over my body and just hugged all night. For me its very romantic. And the morning after its the time for them to go back in thailand (before they live in thailand, now in hongkong). So yeh thats what its all

about.

So until now, when they go here for vacation, its like theres something between us.

I hope you can help me with this. ( by the way his 2 sisters know that I like their brother, its only the two of them that knows)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009):

I found this in someone's profile:

'i love helping people with problems,i am good at it as i am a rational person.

i hope my advice helps you and is useful.'

Their advice here is, I would say, neither rational or useful. You might think I have an axe to grind in answering this, but here goes:

When I was about your age I had an attraction to my first cousin, but due to prejudices within our family I was prevented from doing anything about it. She had no idea how I felt about her at the time. She went her way in life and I went mine. Over the years we have always felt very close to each other, although we saw very little of each other in the intervening years. We both married and divorced twice. She had one child and I had two. We eventually got together as if we were man and wife when we were in our early fifites and we've lived together (almost) blissfully happy for the last ten years, and have been happier in our relationship than a great many others. We often wonder what might have happened if we had got together all those years ago. Would we still be happily married or living together now? We don't really know, but it's just possible that four divorces and all the heartache they caused might have been prevented. Our respective children (now in their thirties and forties) get along together almost like brothers and sisters but without the arguments.

That said, you are far too young to be thinking about any long-term prospects with your cousin. He's far to young too. My advice would be to let him know how you feel towards him. In time things may develop, or they may not. It's in the lap of the gods, but at least he will know where he stands with you and how you feel about him. If he feels the same way as you, in time you might just turn out to be the absolutely perfect couple that lives happily ever after until your dying days. Or you may not - like I say, it's in the lap of the gods. Anyone who has not been madly in love with their cousin cannot possibly understand the connection they feel, which is far deeper than in any other kind of relationship.

There's nothing illegal or immoral about it. Many cultures actively encourage relationships between cousins, yours included, so don't be misled into thinking there's something wrong or immoral with how you feel because there is not.

If I'm still here in about 7 years time, let me know how things turned out between you. Have a look at http://cousincouples.com

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A female reader, kellyxxx United Kingdom +, writes (15 May 2009):

kellyxxx agony auntIts your family! You are sick in the head!

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