A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid,i don't know what to do, i've been in love with this boy all my life since i was a young child and i know that is hard to believe because a lot of people think you can't be in love until your older, not able to experience the full emotion but i really amThe thing is, i can't tell him how i feel because i am family friends with him, my mum's best friend in the whole world is his mum, he's almost like family to me and on top of that he's my best friend and losing him would kill mei love him so much and i cry all the time because he has no idea how i feel and i just don't know how i could tell him as it would ruin our friendshipthe thing is that i don't know how he feels but i am almost positive that he thinks of me nothing more than a friend but i just don't think thats enough and it kills me inside whenever i'm around him because i have to see him with other girlsi've tried getting over him so many times but it never works i just seem to fall for him morewhat should i do? please help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): Hi, I hope I can help a little here.
I am in my 40s and have had a friend since childhood whom I have always considered to be a 'brother'
I love him dearly,he is and always has been close to me , my husband and children (35 years).
He married a friend of mine and over the years we were all quite close but not in each other's pockets.
Eventually he and his wife separated, we helped him through it, and then he began a new life and we didn't see so much of him.
Around Easter time he came to see me and told me he had been in love with me all of his life and that was probably the main reason his marriage had not worked.
The first thing I asked him was 'what did I do to make you think you could tell me this?'
I do know I have never given any hints of anything more than friendship!
He said he knew I didn't think of it the same way as him, but that he needed to get it off his chest so that he could move on!
It left me devastated!
I love this guy like a brother!, and now I know he has been looking at me differently all these years, I am having trouble with my own life.
It has affected my social life (he used to be included in it)
It has made me question myself ie: do I come across as flirty, available,etc. and I have become quiet around other people because of it , and they are noticing. Of course I can't discuss it with anyone, it would also devastate my husband.
After a while I started to see it from his side and feel very sorry for him, it must have taken a lot of courage to tell me, especially when he knew it was not reciprocated.
But this has left me feeling bereft, I, and he, have lost a lifelong friend.I Feel awkward when in his company, and have now stopped all contact with him because I know he looks at me differently to how I always thought.
I really can't tell you how much it has affected me, my personality and my life.
You have to really know, or be 99% sure that these feelings are happening both ways, it may be that you are both unattached, making it a little easier in your case.
I'm sure you are going through turmoil over it as your feelings are deep.
My friend was advised by a counsellor to talk to a good friend about his feelings and the silly man chose me because I was a close friend!
Please , for your friendship's sake, have a good think about it before doing anything rash.
It, I'm sure, would be better to keep that loving friendship than have nothing at all, or at most, awkwardness between you both.
I really do feel for you.
I am having lots of deep problems in my own life right now, but do not have my friend to talk to or listen and advise me anymore, and I really do miss him!!
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (11 August 2010):
 There's really no easy answer to this question. You don't want to lose him as a best friend but you're positive that he doesn't want anything more... You sound like you're really torturing yourself simply by being his friend. Is there no way that you could take a break from him for a while, go on holiday, try dating or something?
If you're positive he doesn't feel the same way as you then I don't recommend telling him... many friendships are never the same after. But if you're torturing yourself in a situation that you can't win, then you really need to get out now. If you're driving a car and you see a big sign that says "WRONG WAY, TURN AROUND NOW" you don't just keep driving into oncoming traffic, you do exactly what it says and turn the f... around.
Best of luck :)
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