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female
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anonymous
writes: hi, my boyfriend and i have been together for a year and a half and he is thinking of going travelling for over a year soon before he starts university as he is 26 years old and doesnt want to leave it too late. I have the option of joing him next may when my year from college is out for the summer. I could maybe even take a year out to go travelling too. thing is, id hate to arrange this and book it all only to find that when i go to join him, in the months that we've been apart his feeling will have changed. he says he's mad about me and its a heartbreaking decision for him to make, but what if he meets someone else while working in australia for the year. Im just comfused as to whether i should join him and take that risk? Has anybody had a similar experience?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, so just an update he's decided that he's going away in January to Australia for the year... And we've agreed that I will go and join him in June. Just to thank everyone for their advice... but I realy cannot help feeling so insecure! He said Jokingly yesterday that he was goin to turn off his mobile when he gets there and i got angry with him! but he told me that he loves and cares for me loads and would never do that.. he wants to saty together while he's away also as he doesnt want to be with anyone else. But I cant help feeling that people change when the are away from their 'normal' life. also i think i have been annoying him too much about him going away and finding someone else that its starting to really get on his nerves...i cant help it im upset!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2006): Ever hear the song"If you can't be with the one you love, then love the one you're with"If you really love him, then join him. If he changes his mind, then at least you will know AND you'll get to travel abroad. Who knows, maybe you'll change your mind about him once you see him in a new environment.I had a bf when I lived abroad. I thought I really loved him. I wanted to return home to finish uni, but he wanted me to stay with him. I left though, and by the time he had saved up enough money to get to me I still thought I loved him. Then we spent time together and I realized I really didn't love him anymore after all. We parted ways.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2006): Why do you feel he is abandoning you and why do you feel that he will leave you even if he is telling you how much he loves you? Insecurity is a horrid thing to feel.
Why have the fear that things will change; that's an odd statement. It's like you already "know"???
I don't think finding faults and problems now will be of any help to you and your boyfriend.
It is love Sweetie; take the risk and join him. You are a smart woman and can go to school their and have a job and have him in your life.
Ponder it. It may be a bit scary but you will have him at your side.
Good Luck.
*hugs*
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