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I'm waiting to hear him tell me he loves me!

Tagged as: Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 May 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 15 May 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and 3 months. We talked about the word 'love' early on, and we felt it was best not to use it so soon. As of now, I feel like it's been long enough. I want him to tell me that he loves me, but I don't think it's going to happen anytime soon.

Sometimes when I get into the mood like I want to say it, I tend to say 'I like you' a lot to him. Then he starts to question why I keep saying that and he gets kind of.... not angry, but he seems like he doesn't want to hear it because it seems like I want to say 'I love you'.

Even though we've been together for a while, I don't really trust him, but I'd like to trust him more. It's just that I don't think I can until he tells me that he loves me because there's always that question in my head about why he hasn't told me that yet.

What should I do? Should I not be feeling this way?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks notinthesane. I'm trying really hard to have faith. Best of luck to you too.

From the beginning, I've never really trusted him. I guess he has changed a bit for me. I know I shouldn't worry, but I get jealous really easily. I'm trying my best to trust him.

I'm not looking for a long term relationship right now either. I would just like to know how much I mean to him. I buy more things for him than he does for me. Anything and everything I do is to make him happy, but for him, it's always his way even if I'm not happy. He's quite selfish, and I guess I've gotten used to it, but I don't want him to take me for granted.

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A male reader, Replacement Canada +, writes (15 May 2008):

Replacement agony auntMaybe he's just not ready for a "love" commitment. When I was your age (18-21, I assume he is close in age to you) I wasn't interested in a longterm "love" relationship, I just wanted a good time. If he's not saying he loves you then he probably doesn't feel it yet, he just doesn't sound ready... why don't you trust him? Every time a girlfriend has ever told me she didn't trust me, it was because I was doing something behind her back. Women's intuition is often right- I'm always amazed that my gfs can tell that I'm cheating, they get this vague feeling of "mistrust"- perhaps your intuition is on the money. Maybe he's not trustworthy.

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A female reader, notinthesane United States +, writes (15 May 2008):

notinthesane agony auntHey, I'm not really sure what kind of avise to give you here because I'm in almost exactly the same boat. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half and I am in love with him, but I'm not so sure he feels the same way. I would love to hear those words, but I guess, we are together and I am happy with him, and I can only assume that he is happy with me and you shuold do the same. I know that sometimes you might get a little insecure and unsure about everything, but when it's right, he'll say it. Just have faith in your relationship as I try to have faith in mine. Best of luck to you.

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