A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi every one im 24 years old i have been fooling around behind my boyfriend of 3.5 years with his very bestmate but it gets worse than that the one im playing around with is going out with my very best friend and theyve been together for about 3.5 years aswell....i feel like such a bitch but i cant help myself.My friend and her boyfriend have fallen out recently and i started comforting him but now i cant resist him he is much more sensitive and caring than my bf and he is one of my very best friends and i dont want to get caught but he wants to tell everyone and be together who do i choose as they both say they love me but i dont know what to do???
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): Your a fool and not really worthy of a 'best friend' if this is how you treat people.
Get a grip. You certainly shouldn't choose your boyfriend, you have already betrayed that relationship.
Choose the friend and then the both of you can start new friendships and get best friends to betray!
But don't feel sorry for yourself, that would be hypercritical now wouldn't it!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): I am not sure just what you want us to say here. We cannot say that this is ok and you well know that. So what is the answer? You have to walk away from your friend and make things 100% fantastic with your bf. Yes, i think you are a bitch who wants her cake and be able to eat it with our approval. None is going to come from me. Imagine how you would feel if your friend had been doing exactly the same to you with your bloke, gutted! what happens if everyone finds out, you will alienate yourself from all of them and have no friends left. Just walk away from this dangerous game and play safe with your bloke, only.
take care
xx
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A
male
reader, SamuraiRick +, writes (17 November 2007):
 This sounds like a potential dynamite keg already lit and just inches from exploding. You did wrong. You were thinking with the brain between your legs instead of the one between your shoulders. What were you thinking? What you did to betray your boyfriend was cold and without respect. Not only to cheat behind his back but to do it with his best friend. If he ever finds out about you two getting it on, he will either kill you and his friend or kill himself.
You’ve already made a huge mistake. The best you can do is to take it apart very carefully. My first advice is NEVER to tell your boyfriend about this and keep this to yourself forever. Telling him is an unfair and a cruel stab to his heart. You’ve already stabbed in him the back, to tell him about it would only be a selfish act to make yourself feel better. Next, you have to choose to break up with your boyfriend’s friend OR break up with both of them.
Personally you should make a clean break with all parties including your female friend in who also is a victim in this.
Don’t go around and think shouting “sorry” to everybody is going to fix this mess.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (17 November 2007):
 When your bf finds out...and he will, it will end with him anyways.
If you MUST choose, go with the new guy. Hopefully he will do to you what he did to his last gf (you know, your other best friend?).
I suggest to start fresh, a clean slate and do not date anyone for a while. You need a break to let everything you have been doing sink in.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): Wow...here you are cheating behind your bf's back with his friend. And you are asking us whom do you choose? I am going to say neither. Your current bf of 3.5 years and you quite obviously have a dysfunctional dynamic or serious problem going in your own relationship for you to do something so unlovable to him. So really, you don't want to remain in this relationship, do you? So what do you do? You owe him the respect of telling him..it's not working out, anymore. Let him go, heal recover and find someone who cherishes and loves him.
But then there's the other guy whom you are comforting because his gf (a gal pal of yours) has cut him loose. And he happens to be your current guy's best friend. You and he are cheating, committing an infidelity on your current guy. So now we know that you seem to be sedating your problems in your long term relationship by cheating. Not a very commendable way to solve relationship issues is it? Is this how you accept responsibilities and resolve relationship issues? What is this telling the new guy? Are you behaving as a person of values and principle? And what of him? Is he much better, after all--this is his best friend's lady he's boinking..
If you continue with this new guy on the path you are going...all this BS will come back and bite you both in the butts. You both don't even see it, now, but you are both learning something about each other, which isn't pretty. But in a year down the road, when life with this new guy gets complacent and the initial bloom of passion wears off, and the sex needs spicing up...he will remember what you both did, to his best friend. This little indiscretion will be like a timebomb ready to blow this apart. Do I think you guys have the groundwork for a future, or a solid, quality, generous, loving relationship...No I don't. You both have done something that shakes the trustworthiness of this perspective relationship to the very core. And without trust building in a love relationship...you will have nothing. You my dear, are setting yourself up for another fall. Get out of this and start on a new footing with someone completely different, someone who can build trust with you, someone who has no idea of what went on in your past.
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A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (17 November 2007):
 first of all, how could you do this to your boyfreind?you have ruined their freindship(maybe it isn't ruined now but it will be when your boyfreind finds out),and you have ruined it by just ' fooling around', grow up!
and second of all don't you have any respect for your best freind?i really don't know what you were thinking of when you asked this question.....
bye.
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