A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all.i have an issue thats been building up and really frustating me lately in the office.We have always done collections for people for their birthday which is fine-there are 22 people in the office.Now someone recently got engaged and we had to do a collection for them and 2 people in our office are pregnant and a collection for them is starting.Also a guy moved house 2 weeks ago and we did a collection for him...and another lady recently had a minor operation so we put in to buy her some flowers...and a colleague is moving to another department amd we have to put in for her...I dont want to be a scrooge but isnt this to much?? I mean it a couple of quid here and a couple of quid there... but it all builds up!A few of us share the same opinion but no one wants to speak up or not contribute be seen as "tight". Any advice is appreciated.
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice  + ♥, writes (24 October 2009):
 I believe in being charitable. I also believe that how a person goes about being charitable is private. so to say, not letting the right hand know what the left hand is doing. I agree that collections should be anonymous and not required. It should not be "dues" it should be a gift.
I want to interject my own experience here. At my work we pass the hat and sign a card for major events, like a death in the family. At my wife's work they don't. Her employees make less than mine, and they are generally young. When someone is in need of a gift, new baby, sick kids, marriage, graduation, My wife goes out and buys one. Some are covered from petty cash, some times a coworker will chip in, but frequently she buys it out of her pocket. I don't mind because it is just her way of expressing her charity.
I believe giving is good for the soul but you should not give so much that you are unable to take care of you and yours. As a guide line I usually put in about as much as I spend for lunch when we pass a hat. When we shop for my wife's employees we spend about what we would spend on a dinner out together.
FA
A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (24 October 2009):
 HiAt my work place it was the same thing, for every single event people had to contribute money and yes your right it does add up to many many lost pounds!However some were not happy about this and spoke up to our team leader who took this on board and agreed with the rest of team to abolish this rule unless it was someone's leaving do and a necessity!Talking about leaving do's I had mine yesterday!!! *sad* and they got me lovely gifts!! but back to the point: if you want to stop the unneccessary spending then you must tell your manager/ team leader. Its not compulsory for you to contribute. But speaking up is essential if you want any change at work.Think about having a confidential meeting with your team leader and raise this issue discreetly with him/her. Thats what they are there for. Noone else at work needs to know you have a problem with it.Good luck!
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