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I'm sooooo scared that I've gone down the wrong road.

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 February 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 31 March 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *ovexkiss writes:

I've been brought up in a Christan background. I have a lovely family, they do not drink or swear, just a normal loving family. I've been with my fiance for 3 years. I'm sooooo scared that I've gone down the wrong road. Is this what god has planned for me?

His parents swear, his mum drinks and is an alcoholic, his dad has left, their family don't even talk to each other. It's just completley different to my famly, just a completley different lifestyle. I don't know if I should let him go, even though I love him sooo much, just his way of life is diifferent, different beliefs, attitude to life etc... but we both want a future together.

I'm just scared I'm doing the wrong thing, I don't know???

helllppp someone?

View related questions: alcoholic, fiance

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009):

hmmm.... in my opinion this is a tricky one!! :-)

I am christian and was brought up catholic with a very 'straight normal family' until i hit 12 and my mum left my dad for another woman!! came as quite a shock!! but the point is, after that the sheltered world i'd lived in turned around! my mum has no reall christian faith and neither do two of my 3 siblings! but i love them alll soooo much and it would be wrong to turn my back on them!! God puts us in these situations to help us to get closer to him even through the hardest of times!and you are his disciple! so at the end of the day so long as you have faith in him you can do anything!!! you are his light in the darkness within your boyfreinsd family! don let it get you dwn, rather pray that he would give you strength to shine his love! :-) xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009):

Hi

What is there in common with light and dark? (corinthians6:14)

quite a lot actually because WE ALL HAVE THESE QUALITIES..and the dark can actually be your greatest freind in a paradoxal way.

Does a lit candle have a shadow?

Does the sun cast a shadow?

Is the sun and candel bad?

Do you too have a dark side? sorry to dissapoint but yes you do...dark is not always BAD.

alchoholics are not evil and bad...they have an illness that they and family battle with.

Some battle with chocolate and creamcakes and put strain on their hearts, therefore there family worrying.

Are cream cakes evil?

Certain things are BAD FOR US..but it does not make US BAD.

God loves his black sheep too..

How many pure god following people TURN THEIR BACKS on the needy..the sick in FEAR of FALLING WITH THEM..IF GOD IS YOUR TRUTH YOU KNOW HE WILL NOT LET YOU FALL.

If this boyfreind LOVES YOU AND IS KIND TO YOU AND DOES NOT TRY AND GET YOU INTO DRUGS AND DRINK ETC? what is the true problem?

As a GOD LOVING FOLLOWING PERSON are you happy with possibly breaking your boyfreinds heart? are you sure his family are justification? and in your judgment of you been far better than these mere mortals who swear...have you done gods work?

wrong roads are where we often LEARN BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG....or how

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009):

Hi

What is there in common with light and dark? (corinthians6:14)

quite a lot actually because WE ALL HAVE THESE QUALITIES..and the dark can actually be your greatest freind in a paradoxal way.

Does a lit candle have a shadow?

Does the sun cast a shadow?

Is the sun and candel bad?

Do you too have a dark side? sorry to dissapoint but yes you do...dark is not always BAD.

alchoholics are not evil and bad...they have an illness that they and family battle with.

Some battle with chocolate and creamcakes and put strain on their hearts, therefore there family worrying.

Are cream cakes evil?

Certain things are BAD FOR US..but it does not make US BAD.

God loves his black sheep too..

How many pure god following people TURN THEIR BACKS on the needy..the sick in FEAR of FALLING WITH THEM..IF GOD IS YOUR TRUTH YOU KNOW HE WILL NOT LET YOU FALL.

If this boyfreind LOVES YOU AND IS KIND TO YOU AND DOES NOT TRY AND GET YOU INTO DRUGS AND DRINK ETC? what is the true problem?

As a GOD LOVING FOLLOWING PERSON are you happy with possibly breaking your boyfreinds heart? are you sure his family are justification? and in your judgment of you been far better than these mere mortals who swear...have you done gods work?

wrong roads are where we often LEARN BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG....or how

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A female reader, wonderlove19 Ireland +, writes (12 February 2009):

wonderlove19 agony auntI'll give you an answer, but you're probably not gonna like it! I'm christian too but was brought up with a very philosophical mum and I always loved that, but anyway, you meeting this guy is a challenge to you. You cannot do the wrong thing by learning something thats going to make you a stronger or more knowledgeable person.

And just because someone has different beliefs doesnt mean you cant make it work with them! Me and my fiance have been together for 3 and a half years, and he's the total opposite of me. I grew up with a family that talk to eachother and show a lot of love, he grew up with the opposite of that and it was hard at first because he didnt understand what I was doing. He didnt understand that he could actually accept love from me it just seemed bizarre to him. So basically, being with this man is important for you. And if there's one thing I've learned along the way its that everything works out exactly the way its supposed to, no matter what. You will always be on the right path. Just trust it. If you want a future together, then have a future together. Key is not to enforce any of your beliefs on eachother. Cos that wrecks things. Opposites do attract tho. So give it a shot. Never be afraid to take chances because god wouldnt set out all these lessons and paths if he meant for you to stay where you are and not move! Good Luck! I hope you find happiness xxx

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A female reader, samurai girl United States +, writes (12 February 2009):

samurai girl agony auntI am going through a similar situation, but not as drastic. Ultimately if you don't have the same goals and beliefs about CORE values, then it probably can't work. If his family is important to him and you have to be around them, you are going to be uncomfortable & this is going to cause huge problems between you and your fiance. But it's 3 years later & you are just now feeling this way? You've felt this way all along and were probably too afraid to admit it.

If you can't see living your life the way he lives his, you need to break up because you will be resentful and end up divorced. And if you have kids, that's another nightmare scenario. Spare yourself more pain. Be true to YOU and good luck!

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