Hi, I dated this boy, for a year about a year ago. I ended rather unfairly; and hurt him quite badly. we were both 17 at the time. A year on, I've grown up a lot and am far more mature than I was then, I have suddenly realised that I may have made a mistake in ending it. We speak from time to time and generally things between us are amicable, although they weren't for a long time after splitting. We haven't met up since, but talk from time to time over the internet and generally get on ok, and have a laugh. I really want him in my life but I can tell that we won't ever be close buddies, I have lots of male buddies and the feelings I have with them are completely different, we're in some ways a bit more than that. I really want him back in my life, but don't entirely know how to approach it. When we dated I was always very honest about my feelings, after we split I regretted it and told him how I felt and he threw it back in my face a bit but I think this was because I had just hurt him so much. I'm scared of telling him how I feel, which is strange as I'm always so open and honest. Can anyone suggest how I should handle it?
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reader, notshort +, writes (1 April 2008):First of all, be sure that your apology if that is what that was is accepted. Things may never truly be right until he understands that you intend on making up. Even if you don't plan on getting back together.
Secondly, don't worry about a boyfriend. At your age they will not get you much farther. Your friends are what will help you make it through your troubles. Male or female your friends are worth their weight in gold.
Lastly, never look for a boyfriend. You can go out with your friends. It does not matter if you go to a movie with a guy or girl. Or even a guy that is just a friend to a dance.
The concept here is what I call 'you can't see the forest for the trees.' If you let yourself get distracted with guys you may forget what is important to you. And then you will compromise the stuff that would have been a must for you. At that point you have lost yourself.
When you are ready for that guy that will be the last one to take you on your ' last first date', you will notice that he is right in front of you. Enjoy your youth. And I hope you will have many friends and friendships.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008):If I were you I would apologize , ask for forgiveness , and tell him how you truely feel. Maybe he feels the same .(Ask him if he has a gf before hand tho...) And tell him that it was a mistake to leave him and how bad you feel and how much you really want him to be in your life . You never know until you try ... who knows maybe he will feel the same .... atleast I hope he does :)
I wish you the very best :) GOOD LUCK
I hope this helped a bit
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