A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently split up with my girlfriend and whilst I'm really upset about it, she doesn't seem to care. We were together for a year so it was obviously an important relationship. She just goes out partying all the time and hasn't even called me to see how I am or anything. She sent a text just after we split up saying I was really important to her but it sounds like she was just saying the 'right thing'. I obviously still love her but feel like my relationship is being trivialised and like she doesn't care about me at all.Any advice on how to deal with this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): thanks guys,
i thought that might be a possibility too about going out to distract herself or something but after further contact, it's quite clear she just isn't upset.
i guess that's fair enough - i guess i hoped she'd be a little more upset that we'd finished after so long together but then i don't wish misery on her.
onwards and upwards!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009): Maybe it is not that she doesn't care, people deal with these situations in different ways... Maybe her way of dealing with it is to go out partying to take her mind off it because she is upset. My advice is try to talk to her, if she wont do it then you start the conversation and try to find out how she is feeling.
I hope things go well for you, goodluck...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009): I'm not sure how you should deal with it - depends on whether you'd like to get back together or not? But I can tell you that I acted a lot like she is towards my last ex because I didn't want him to know how much I was hurting. Going out partying (although I didn't normally do that) helped me relax and feel slightly better. Judging by you being important to her, she probably cares a lot and is as upset as you are but doesn't want you to know that to save her pride.
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A
female
reader, rosie-rouge +, writes (13 August 2009):
 Your realtionship was very long, and she's probably going out partying becauase that's one ofthe ways she deals with breakups, kind of like what you do when you break up with someone (but you didn't say anything about what you are doing about it).
I think she is probably moving on with her life, and make the most of being single. I think you should be doing the same, but not in the extremities of what she's doing. Hang out with some friends, get a few beers round, watch some sport with your mates. Anything to get your mind off her, will do you some good, I promise.
I think she should be more upset about the break than you, because you were the one to end it (simple logic). But there's nothing that you or I can do to change the way she is dealing with it. You could try asking some of her friends with how she is and coping etc and see what they think of the whole break up.
Good luck,
Roise-Rouge
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