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female
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*iki_24us
writes: I am a 24 year old female, now me and my mate have been together for five years now, It seems as the years go by he has just let his self go, the way he dresses and he is so dependent on me that he can not do anything for his self (now keep in mind we are not married), I cook, clean, mow the lawn, take out the trash, go get the oil changed in our vehicles, set out his daily cloths,I mean it is like I am rasing a 25 year old man (else he works) and he is fine with with the way that he acts, me on the other hand I am a very well dressed lady, I love to look nice for me and for my man I depend on me and me only.I am starting to stray away (and when I say stray I mean keeping my options open, nothing sexually YET)from this person, we don't talk, don't have sex, when we go out we go to different places. I love him but I am not in love with him any more. Does it sound like I could be just be being a little bit of a cry baby or could this really be o.k. that I am feeling like this. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kello1 +, writes (11 April 2006):
I don't think you're being a cry baby, just ask yourself how things would carry on if u stayed together for the rest of your lives. Not at all good that's what! You only live once and i can't see him changing. Get rid or carry on like this, but you're still young and i know what i'd do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2006): I do think you have a good reason to be concerned, hun. Your bf sounds lazy and he's taking you for granted. If he just suddenly started behaving this way recently, I would say he's depressed. But if he's always been this way, I am wondering if his own Mother did everything for him until he left the nest. It's likely he's had 'bad habits and attitudes' ingrained in him that are overflowing into your relationship. I won't even ask if you ever sat him down and asked him to take on more responsibility..because you shouldn't have to. He is NOT a child. He is supposed to be your 'equal'..meaning taking equal share and equal responsibility in keeping this relationship afloat. So why are even with this guy? If you say love I am hard pressed to believe that...trust means RESPECT. How can you respect someone who is lazy and permits you to DO everything, even mowing the lawn!? You sound strong and very responsible...so, ask yourself, what on earth are you doing giving your physical and emotional self to someone with such BOLD shortcomings. I wouldn't blame you if you did cut your losses while you can. Either that or tell him to pull his socks up and contribute in a mature, equal fashion. In the future, stop relying on your feelings to determine a loving life partner. When someone like your bf, overlooks their responsibilities in a relationship it is time to re-evaluate. I think it is time to pull back and see whether he is committed to you or the convenience of you. In the future, always remember...to pick your EQUAL.
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