A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:This is something of a convoluted problem but I need some advice on how to deal with it..I had a pretty strict upbringing (A lot was expected of me) and my parents encouraged me to marry a much older guy that I didn't really have a lot in common with. He was a bit of a creep, I don't really like to think of the unpleasant things that he did to me, but I recently told my new fiance of what transpired and he hit the roof that someone could behave like that. Fortunately, I managed to get away from him and haven't heard from him since...I moved to a new part of the country with high aspirations, met a great guy and fell in love, we got engaged and things were finally looking up. Problems came, however, when it came to fidelity, as monogamy has been a nbit of an issue in the past for me. I love my fiance very much, but since we've settled down together hes not quite the man I thought he was.He found out I'd slept with another man and was not very pleased, I promised I would never do it again and I haven't. He forgave me and we moved on. The guy I slept with is in love with me, I've told him all the reasons it wouldn't work, and I thought he accepted them. Anyway, he went to fight for queen and country, and I was terribly worried he would end up horribly injured..so when he wrote to me from abroad I wrote back, believing I was actually helping his morale.Now I'm getting married pretty soon in the foreseeable future, and I've also just found out that one of my fiance's closest friends really fancies me. He's much older than myself, but an all-round nice guy. Hes made passes at me a few times, but one time he cornered me and I didn't stop him when he kissed me. He seems to genuinely want to be with me, but also concerned Now I don't know what to do at all - I'm questioning everything I feel, for all these four men that have played significant roles in my love life. What should I do? As I re-read back over the question, I can see what a terrible person I am: but I want so desperately to do the right thing, but I'm not sure what that is. Help would be much appreciated.
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male
reader, q1605  +, writes (14 May 2008):
 gotta ask how does a friend of your fiance' that corners you and forces a kiss on you play a significant part in your life. Not trying to make you feel bad about yourself you just need to reel it in. And QUIT LEADING THEM ON...And yourself. You are not being a good friend to yourself.
A
male
reader, q1605 +, writes (14 May 2008):
Take a step back. Look at the birth date on your ID. Your biggest sin is being young followed by leading these guys on. You don't have to marry/ go with/ hook up with/ have a commitment to every guy that gives you the time of day. Date bang screw kiss hold hands with all of them or none of them and quit playing them and don't think of marriage for a long time
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