A
female
age
36-40,
*onfussed08
writes:I'm pregnant by a married man who is going through a divorce.we are both in the army and he is deploying he thinks the best thing to do is abort the baby but I don't believe in abortion and want to keep it we both do in away. But he is worried about not being there for me and the kid bc of the deployment and he is worried about finances and being a dad to young he will be 24 and ill be 21 what would you do in this situation?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): Adoption?
A
female
reader, confussed08 +, writes (6 October 2008):
confussed08 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for the advice for once he called the baby our child. Not IT! But he says he could live with himself if we aborted but if I choice to keep it he has no choice but to divorce his wife instead of work it out with her I feel like I'm ruining his life but he says no we made the choice together I don't want him to be there bc he has to I want him to be there bc he wants to am I wrong in this?
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A
female
reader, Faybelline  +, writes (6 October 2008):
 You can only do what you feel is right.
True; finances are a huge issue when having a baby as is becoming a parent when you're not ready.
If the two of you feel that you don't think you could cope becoming parents in your current situation, then perhaps abortion is the best option BUT you have to think it through carefully. Would you feel comfortable with that?
If you don't believe in abortion then you shouldn't have one just because this guy says it's best. Best for who? Best for him? It's a lot easier for guy to suggest abortion; he is not the one carrying the child and is probably not as attached to it as you are.
Personally, I might consider abortion if it were me, but that's me and my opinion and that's not necessarily what's right for you.
Follow your heart and think about what having the child would mean and how it would affect you but also think about how you would feel if you got rid of it and how well YOU personally would cope; not how he would cope or what would be better for him.
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A
female
reader, SugarCookie +, writes (6 October 2008):
I would keep the baby. You can be a good mom even if he gets overwhelmed and leaves. Every one never feels that it is the right moment and then some how pulls everything together for their little one. If so many other people can be deployed and still have a family why cant you. Its normal to be scared and he really isn't that young. Things will work out the way they are suppose to.
Good Luck!
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