A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my Boyfriend of 4 months have decided we want to spend the rest of our lives together. But we cant get married because of some family issues going on , so we must wait. We both want to make love but i feel pressured. I am a virgin and am scared he may be focusing on phisical stuff and not our realtionship. I am also very umcomfortable with my body, and am afraid. Im not sure if we should make love or wait until we are married, in about 2 years would be possible. What should i do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): Sex is all about waiting til youre comfortable and ready both emotionally and more important, mentally. Honestly, 4 months into a relationship youre still in that infatuation stage and that can therefore drive emotional decisions which isnt healthy for the relationship or for yourself. Good luck.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (18 January 2011):
 Goodness, after 4 months you're already talking about marriage. Slow down sweetie..you two hardly know each other. Get to know the guy first, inside and out. Make sure he is the right one for you when it comes to virginity and marriage. Wait until you are ready for all of this. Right now it seems way too rushed and I can see where you're feeling pressured. Tell him you want to take it down a few notches and just let stuff happen. Take it day by day, you call the shots.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): Wait. People and relationships get ruined when people put pleasure over brains. Yeah, sure you're goig to be married soon anyways, but 2 years is a long time. Don't do something you'll regret just becUse you don't want to wait
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A
female
reader, wornoutmommy +, writes (18 January 2011):
 Wait till you're comfortable.
However... I wouldn't wait till you're married. When I got pregnant (baby before marriage) my grandma (YES) told me that she would have rather had sex before she married because then she wouldn't have married him... that he was horrible! I had to laugh, my grandma's pretty funny.
Granted, sex isn't everything in a relationship- but if it's bad, it can ruin everything. Take it slowly and you'll get there when you're comfortable. If he respects you, then he can wait. If he can't wait, he doesn't respect you: and that's a huge red-flag (first husband=divorce because of a lack of respect in this area)
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