| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: My current boyfrind of 1.5 years is still Very close with his ex. They lived together for 5 years, and the following year after she broke it off, they tried to work things out. They ended up not being able to continue the relationship (her choice) and soon after he moved 1000 miles away. Which is where he met me. We now live together, and they have been broken up for over 3 years (over 2 if you don't count the working it out year). She's since had a baby and gotten married. We've all met each other, and both her husband and I had some initial resistance early on to to being included in their friendship, since been worked out. I've never acted jealous or possesive, and feel I've been very patient in understanding their need to stay close. However now she and her husband are relocating to our city (he got a job here) and I'm not sure how to handle my boyfriend's 'vision' that we will all be great friends. Honestly I would be happy if the friendshhip drifted and they cut ties, but for his sake I make an effort. But sometimes I feel they are staying too close (or he is) and not allowing room for our relationship to properly grow. Have I set myself up for disaster?
View related questions:
his ex, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Topps +, writes (25 October 2005):
Wow, tricky one. Have you told your partner how you feel. You say you play along so maybe he doesn't know you are worried. Think that should be your first point of call. It is unsual for ex's to remain close and I would also wonder why. I think your feelings are justified and your partner needs to consider them in the choices he makes. Perhaps you need some reassurance about the real intentions of their relationship and then maybe you could make some compromise. Only see them every 3 months or whatever. Not really sure what to suggest except be honest with your partner about how you are feeling and take it from there. Good Luck
|
