A
female
age
51-59,
*ueensbean
writes:Just would like to get a male's perspective on this... though women feel free to share the advice =)I have been with my guy going on 5 years. Its a definite pull push kinda thing. He gets close... he pulls WAAAy back then I kinda start moving on then he pulls me back.Of course its more complicated than that. We do have a 21 year old son together. We were not in contact until our son was 16. That's a whole other story.. but suffice to say it was NOT his fault. anyways, with all this pushing and pulling I have been patient. Cause i know he loves me and I definitly love him. Right now he has pulled away YET again. Lied to me about where he was staying. Because he knew it would piss me off. I'm not impressed where he is, i'm not concerned about it, just him lying. He can be cowardly. What is bothering me is that I talked to him tonight and he seems so confused. He came clean about where he was. Everything started to make sense. He's like i need a break. He told me that a month ago. i have seen him twice since. Tonight I told him I can wait forever. He kept telling me I have to get my life together. (he's not working full time and is going back to school to get his Class 1 BUT still is waiting for the funding).I GET that! At first tonight he sounded like the break up was for good. When I told him it was cowardly of doing it this way on the phone and lying to me and that i still love him BUT wont wait for him, He then started to change his tune. (last summer when we're on one of his breaks, i went on a holiday without him and he freaked and PULLED me back as fast as he could. So he mentions that... like i didnt wait last summer. He then was like I just need a break. I'm confused. blah blah. tells me he loves me. THERE is no other woman. If this man is one thing he is HONEST when it comes to other women he is interested in or has slept with. So i know there isnt anyone else or he would have told me. I'm just not sure if i should wait any longer. I do love him but it seems he cant just accept it. what do you guys think??
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female
reader, kirra07 +, writes (8 February 2011):
What this sounds like to me is a lack of respect for you, the relationship, and your feelings. He's being selfish and playing with your feelings because he's confused about what he wants. So he goes from wanting you, to not wanting you, but at the same time even when he doesn't want you, he doesn't want you to be with anyone else or be happy. He just wants you to always be pining after him.
If you keep on waiting for him like this, your life will just pass you by. And you have no guarantee of whether he will ever mature and grow up, or when that will happen. Pull yourself away from him, and don't let him sink his hooks into you again.
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