A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a long distance relationship for almost five months now. We have been chatting for close to a year, and I spent an amazing week with her recently - it went far better than I expected it to go, and my girlfriend just couldn't be any more fun and bubbly than what she already is. We're both in our late twenties, although this is our very first relationship, so we were both previously inexperienced in this kind of thing. We spent an entire week together without having sex, and not once did any of us think that we needed to go any further than cuddling and hand-holding, as we're just taking it one step at a time. There's certainly no need to rush things between us.What's the problem then? I'm going to be spending another week with her soon, although I fear that it won't go as well as the first time. Why do you think I'm currently feeling like this? I feel so under pressure to keep her and to make sure our second week goes as brilliant as the first time. Has anyone got any advice to enjoy what we've got together as opposed to feeling so under pressure?I suppose with the hours and hours that we've chatted over this year has resulted in me worrying about running out of things to say to her. As I write this, I'm feeling running under pressure and as if I can't really concentrate on anything other than this. I would appreciate any advice, as I really don't want the pressure I am feeling to spoil what we have together.Thank you for your time.
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male
reader, Glacier  +, writes (7 March 2013):
As a 13 yr old kid I also had this fear, what can I say to my crush?
Later in life I learned, that's the wrong approach.
I should have wondered, what can I ask her?
Let her do most of the talking. If she's bubbly then that won't be a problem.
Some people inspire me to talk. I you find her inspiring you'll be just fine.
Besides silences don't have to be ackward at all.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (7 March 2013):
 sometimes I sits and think and sometimes I just sit.
and guess what, sometimes in a relationship just sitting and being together is enough you don't have to fill every second with words....
do not put so much pressure on yourself... just relax and enjoy the time together...
part of making it work is figuring out how to be together and just BE sometimes.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 March 2013):
 Stop thinking so much. Just appreciate each moment as it comes and you'll find that it will flow very naturally and easy. The pressure is coming from your thoughts, not some external source. So change your thinking. Accept the perfection of 'now.' You'll do fine.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2013): Just plan some fun activities to do and don't worry, don't be too strict with those either, go with the flow. If you already had an amazing week and 5 months contact then you're not going to run out of things to say, things won't be awkward and you get to be intimate with her.
You have nothing to worry about and plenty to look forward to. It'll be as easy as your online correspondence but even more fun. Don't try and best the last time, besides she's fun and bubbly so she'll be doing half the work.
It'll be fun even if all you do is spend a week doing nothing.
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