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I'm in my 40's he is in his 30's and just not that comfortable about sex. I'm not satisfied... help please!!

Tagged as: Age differences, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 June 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 12 June 2008)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

i'm in my early 40s and my guy who i live with is early 30s. he didn't loose his virginity until 30 and only has had vaginal sex a few times before me. i have been sexually active since teenager years. so i'm trying to get him on board with things but he's not responding. have tried talking about fantasies, he says he doesn't really have any. given him books he could look at on his own, had heart to heart about not being embarrassed, but he says he uncomfortable sometimes talking about it. i have a feeling he was taken care of by his momma maybe too much. at any rate, i'm not sure what to do next, i'm not satisfied but don't want to push either. please help.

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A male reader, like a good wine United States +, writes (12 June 2008):

It's probably best not to say too much as that would likely make him feel and perform worse. Teach by example. That's what I did with my wife - I was her first and only, but that has turned out not to be so good in the long run. I was quite experienced and she wasn't. Careful though, or you could end up with a partner who is so satisfied that your needs will never be met.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008):

Does he know that you are not happy and totally satisfied?

Are you not maybe putting to much pressure on him, that he maybe feels he is inadequat?

I suggest you guide him very lovingly; start boosting his moral and his ego;let him know when you enjoy things he does;

Try not to refer to the past or let him feel you are in controll or know so much more, that is not good for his ego, allow him to come up with ideas!

With lots of love and patience, I am sure you will get there!

Good luck!

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A female reader, justice_10 United States +, writes (12 June 2008):

gorl that man is weird and possibly gay meet a gay friend and have him check the guy out for you. if the gay guy says he's not gay then have the guy you live with go see a doctor and then if that doesnt help dump him and find someone else you cant stay unsatisfied long trust me

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