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female
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anonymous
writes: well, me and my boyfriend, who is also my 1st cousin, have been together well over a year now, totally in love - the full works. At first I was sceptical; hmm hes my cousin, but then i realised, I love him, I want to spend the rest of my life with him! Engaged we are, unknowingly to everyone in our family apart from a few close mates. His parents seem, to us, like they know something is 'going on' with us, with funny knowing looks and secret smiles etc, so when we do tell them at one point, they'd probs embrace the fact that we are together well. however my parents; my mum knows how close we are - as cousins, and keeps telling me to get some new friends as 'he wont be your best friend forever' as she says, whilst i just nod and agree. For the past year, shes been empthasising the cousin fact, going silent if i talk about him, won't allow us to meet up as much, wont allow us in the same room at night even with other people. we can tell she is trying to prevent something she probably assumes will occur - but it has happened! both 18 next year, how will we tell people, i know i'll get a bad reaction from my mum, but it is legal people -so, dont reply bad-mouthing this issue, cousin marriage only becomes a problem if there is a genetic problem with any offspring. At the moment we have no plans for children, plus if we got checked at doctors and discovered something wouldnt be quite right with the baby, we would certainly adopt. end of. just to be clear, hehe. Any advice from anyone who is familiar with this type of problem would be greatly appreciated, it would also be great to be put in touch with other people like us, in UK. thanks x x x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2008): We both of us are in love with each other. 1st cousin's
Have been for over 40 years. We tried having seperate lives. But, this has come full circle. We are in LOVE.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2007): At least you are together me im in love with my cousin and i think she likes me 2 but also in my case my family Well half of them already no how i feel about her and to be honest they are supportive !
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (17 May 2006):
 As first cousins, you share the same grandparents. This means that if you have kids, they have a much higher chance of genetic defects than 'normal' kids. However, you won't know if a child is ok until you have them... meaning it is then too late to do anything about it. Any doctor will advise you not to be parents together, ever.
There is a huge social taboo against this kind of behaviour. If you follow the path you are on you are asking for trouble. Your family is quite likely to completely freak out. Also, anyone who you tell is also likely to freak out too. You are basically setting yourselves up for a difficult life if you stay together. If you separate, future partners of both of you are going to have a lot of trouble dealing with this also.
Since telling your family has the potential to cause major problems, I recommend the two of you see some kind of relationship councillor together first (in secret). Either of you two could speak to your doctor (GP), who has to keep it secret if you say so, and who will be able to set you up with a session. You will then be able to ask the health-risk questions you need to someone who can answer them all accurately, and who can help you decide what to do.
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