A
male
age
30-35,
*ell4her
writes:I have a huge problem I have been best friends with a girl for about five years now and I knew from the moment we met I was in love with her all through out the years we have known each other we have been together a lot of the time and I told her how I felt and she told me the usual answer that she just wants to be friends but the way she looks at me tells me that there has to be more feelings and I cannot quit thinking about her she is my world and means more to me than anything in it she was my first kiss and her family loves me she has two brothers and they are also my best friends her older brother thinks she is just not ready for a serious relationship and thats why she doesn't like me but it kills me to see other guys flirt with her and I really don't know what to do because I know I cant just give on this girl I love her way too much any help at all would be great!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Caring Stranger  +, writes (21 February 2010):
 this is a difficult one...you clearly care about this girl an awful lot.
However, she has told you that she just wants to be your friend. As her friend i think that you have a duty to respect this. Unfortunately you cannot make someone fall in love with you.
You have kissed in the past and say that you sense she may have feelings for you. It does sound like maybe she does like you and may be afraid of risking your friendship. You have to consider the fact that if you date this girl and the relationship didnt work out then you will possibly lose her as a friend.
I think the only thing you can realistically do is carry on being her friend and being supportive and maybe in time she will see you as more than a friend. She is aware of you feelings so the ball is really in her court. Who knows what will come of it-but you cannot keep pushing the boundaries of your friendship because you will lose her!
If you are struggling to be her friend because of your feelings then the only other option is to distance yourself from her but im sure you would rather have her in your life as a friend than not have her in your life at all.
This is such a common dilemma, one that ive been in myself. I hope some of my advice helps you...feel free to message me if you want to chat any more. good luck xx
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