A
female
age
36-40,
*iX-bAbY
writes:hey all,Im writing cause previously i have asked for advice and your answers have really helped so here it goes,Me and my x broke up nearly 6 months ago we were together for 2 years. The break up was quite bad but in all honestly i cant quite remember why we broke up.Anyway when we broke up he said he hated me etc so i decided i had to move on and met a great lad (rebound) and we slept together, around 5 months ago me and my ex got back together he knew about the other guy but didnt know we had slept together.He found out and we split again as he said i had broke his heart and he couldnt stop imagining me with someone else. I tryed everything to make him stay but no luck. So up until the end of august we still slept together as we still loved each but it wasnt the same as i wasnt his first priority anymore..I realised that things wern't going to change so we decided to just be friends as he said he would never want me back and after that we barley spoke. Around 2 months ago i met my current partner, we get on really well see each other everyday etc.The thing whats bothering me is that my ex called me around a month and half ago, asking me to go to his house and stuff (i knew what it would lead to so i said no) and i told him i was seeing someone, and since then he has been a complete asshole with me.He is now saying he is seeing 'a real gorgeous gal' and says that he wasted his life on me, he never loved me, im ugly and he hates me etc. I cant understand why he is being like this.Is it because hes happy with someone else and means it or is he just trying to hurt me? if so then why? cause he's already hurt me more than i thought was possible.I dont want to win my ex back cause im happy with my current partner i just wanted to remain on civil terms, so it bothers me that hes being so heartless,and hurts me that he says he was using me. Why am i so bothered by him? Is it normal cause i dont feel like i can move on from these feelings and i dont wanna ruin things with my current partner.I know this is a long post, its just i cant talk to anyone about how i feel as i feel mixed up. So i would be v.grateful for any advice or how any one else has handled a similar situation xpecially males.Again sorry for the long post..Thanks xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2007): I feel the same as you feel i was just in the same situation, i was dating my ex for 3 years. It wasnt a good relationship he cheated on me and hit me once or twice i couldnt deal with it anymore so i left him and about 1.5 mths later i found a new guy (rebound) i felt lonley so i dated him, My ex then turns everything around on me telling me that im a whore and im the one who doesnt want this to work... so my ex knew i was having sex with the new guy and it bothered him but he delt with it. and to this day he says "If we dont date can we still have sex. I just feel so bad for this other guy that im with he is the sweetest guy i have ever met, he treats me like a princess and i fell very close to him i have known him for 2 years , we work together. and i cant contine hurting him so i told my ex last night in person that we cant talk anymore and that we need to stay away from each other. I feel like i love him to death and i wouldnt mind being with him and he says he changed but i jus dont believe it and i think it takes more than two months to change .. My advice to you is stick with the new man he sounds like hes better for you anyways .. whatever your ex did to you emotionally or whatever it might be.. HE WILL DO IT AGIAN!!! trust me i used to break up with my ex all the time and get back with him and he always ended up doing the same shit to me. As for him talking trash about you, thats just because he knows he lost something good and he messed up big time.. Guys always try and switch the argument around to take the heat off of themselves. dont let him get under your skin. its in your best intrest to stay away from him trust me you dont wanna end up losing the new guy and being stuck with no one. My ex would black male me saying that he was going to tell the new guy that he slept with me if i didnt sleep with him. Finally i told the new guy and came clean and told my ex to do whatever floats his boat ... besides the fact that it was eating me up inside to lie to him he forgave me and we are fine together. I wish you luck and i know this stuff is hard but you sound like a stong women and i think you can make it through everytime you get tempted to talk to him jus remember what he did to you to make you break up with him... GOOD LUCK.. I hope I helped you!!!!
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (6 November 2007):
 If you are happy with your current relationship then just ignore the jerk. Stop all contact with him so he doesn't have a chance to say hurtful things to you. Sometimes it simply isn't possible to remain on civil terms with an ex.
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