A
male
age
30-35,
*er_zyniker
writes:Hi. My name is Phillip and I'm gay and at the university. I don't have a problem with being gay or anything. I've accepted that a long time ago, but my family doesn't know. The issue I have is that I keep becoming attracted to male friends that I've meet within the last couple of years. The one's name was Cory and when he found out he avoided me for about a year and a half. All the friends that I like/liked are straight. Each time it just gets more frustrating because even if they are available, they aren't available for me. However all the friends that I like/liked have been really great about it and it didn't seem to bother them at any point, for the exception of Cory. Recently I figured out that I like one of my friends named John. I talked to him about it and he said he was straight like all the other friends before have. He was the fifth friend in the past year and a half that I figured out that I like. Since the little fiasco with Cory I haven't been attracted to anyone that isn't a friend. Usually I become friends with them and then about two months later I figure out that I like them. My question is why is it that I'm only attracted towards people who are friends and not really anyone else?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2011): Hi Phillip, I'm also gay and would like to share my experience. At your age, most gay people are still in the closet. It's not that you seem to only attract to str8 guys. Some of those so called str8 guys might be gays. That's my direct experience. Three out of five good friends I have eventually came out admitting they were gays when they were in their 30's. Keep in touch with guys who are still your friends after knowing about you. They will either be open minded str8 or gay or bi. Those that try to avoid you are most likely closeted gays. I used to be like that. My logic was that if I stay away from gay people I could become less gay. Yes I was stupid. Gay was by birth, not by learning...My recommendation is to go to gay chat room and make gay friends. If you hang around those who are out like you, chances are you'll like some of them. It's much easier to get positive response from other gays who are already out than from the closeted ones/str8.
A
female
reader, Luv2giveadvice  +, writes (1 April 2011):
I would say because as you get to know these guys,you have the chance to realise the traits whichattract you. I would also suggest maybe at asubconsious level, you like the fact that they arehard to get, and that feeling of taboo interests you?
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