A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi!So...this is complicated. I will try to condense it some to make it more readable. I was engaged to a guy, who after 3 years told me he wanted to be a woman. I cut off the relationship as I just couldn't deal with him wearing my clothes and such...So recently I met someone on line who it turns out is Transgendered..from female to male. although he has had no surgery and is still technically a woman he lives his life as a man, and try as I might I can't picture him as a woman, he has shown me pictures from before he came out, and I just don't see him when I look at them...Now, He and I are getting very close, and we share some very strangely similar lives, from abusive parents to the same disability. It's so odd that if he didn't have years worth of online videos to prove it I would swear he knew things about me from before and was just reading them back to me with his name in place of mine! Needless to say, I have some intense feelings for him, and I feel like a total hypocrite, I mean...I dumped a guy for much the same things, but I can accept it with my new guy?I feel horrible about it...but I can't seem to shake off my feelings for my new guy...we've agreed to build a strong friendship first before we decide to be in a romantic relationship....but still...I feel like such a jerk! please help!
View related questions:
engaged Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Transcowboy +, writes (28 June 2008):
 Dont feel like a jerk. With your ex, its simple you saw him as a man, and to picture hiim as a woman freaked you out, which is understandable. With this new person, you already see him as a guy, even tho you know he is not. Yeah i know it sounds werid but it really isnt.
I think its great that the two of you decided to build a friendship first, that is important and does probably help you.. If you like this person, tell him. Tell him how you are feeling, he might be able to help you understand.
Im transgended also, and i do know that it is easier to see someone as they try to project themselfs then to know the person and then try to see them as someone else. If you have any questions please feel free to send me a messege.
A
female
reader, peaches83  +, writes (28 June 2008):
 The difference is that when you got with the guy you were engaged to he was a male it was while he was with you that he wanted to be a female. With your new partner he was what he is now and so there is no hard barrier you have to cross of him going from one day you seeing him in a dress and makeup to him wearing boys clothes etc. SO dont feel like a jerk.
...............................
|
