A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex of two years and I split up and left things in a really rough way. A lot was left unsaid and unsettled and honestly, very hurtfully. It's been approaching a month, and I truly don't feel like I'm getting over it at all, I'm just ignoring it. I'm burying myself into school and work and literally not giving myself one ounce of free time. But those spare moments right before bed or in the morning when it's just me - I'm still so damn sad and so hurt. I've never hurt like this over the loss of a relationship. I've always been able to bounce back and be okay. I honestly don't know if I'll ever completely get over her. I'm actually exhausting myself from running from dealing with this pain. I'm so busy that I literally don't allow myself to stop. What can I do to deal with this? Thank you in advance.
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female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (26 October 2014):
 You aren't going to get over it in a month if you truly loved her. It takes time...thats all there is to it. Sadly there is no miracle cure for a broken heart. You are doing the right thing by keeping busy, keeping your mind busy. There are going to be times when you especially miss that person, and I agree with you..when you first wake up and right before you fall asleep are the hardest.
I was married for 2 years and it took me 3 years to say I was totally over my ex. He was a real jerk but I did love him.He had been my childhood sweetheart. My 2nd marriage I was married for 16 years and never shed a tear and never missed him for a minute. All I felt was relief. I didn't love him when I left him, the love had died a long time ago. It all just depends on you and the situation.
I wish I could comfort you and tell you it wont hurt..but it does when you still love that person. I will tell you and promise you that it does get better with time. Whenever you start thinking of her, refocus your mind..think of something else. I know it sounds silly but I would always think of something annoying about that person, or something they had done that had hurt me and then I would think "Yeah, they really weren't so great!" It did help me alot.
Its just going to take time..day by day..a little at a time you will get to the point where you will think of her less and less..especially if when you do think of her you refocus your thoughts when they drift to her.
I wish you all the best. The pain does get less and less..I promise. You hang in there ok?
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