A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've gone through a really bad marriage and am now getting divorced. I split with huby about 9 months ago and am now just getting myself back on track.Thing is there's a guy at work. I don't really know how to describe it. He's always had a thing about me and me him. When I was with my husband he was always joking with me about leaving him and being with him instead. He would laugh about my terrible marriage and would call my marriage a sham. He would spend every conceivable amount of time he could with me, just chatting about stuff and we found we had so much in common. At the time he had a long term girlfriend who he regularly said wasn't for him and who he didn't love.When me and hubby split he was the most solicitous person you could imagine, calling and checking I was ok etc. He then text me one night to say he and his other half had split. After which we spent a long time texting each other and talking on the phone. He told his family about me and me mine, about him. In one of our longest chats we talked about us being together but how it would take time in order for me to be ready and how he didn't want to rush things.Anyway, the chemistry between us had always been strong and in a moment of weakness, about 2 months after my split with hubby, he spent the night together. The following morning was awful. He was distant and distracted. He was due to go to see his alcoholic Mum who was ill (drunk) so it wasn't percfect timing. Anyway he text me after he left to sat that it was all too wierd as we were such good mates.I over-reacted as only one in my fragile state of mind at the time could, and told him that we were better off just staying friends and he agreed. I later called him and had a go(with the alcoholic Mum shouting in the background) and said we best leave it.At work he could barely look me in the eye, then a few months later I heard the 'dumped' girlfriend had moved in with him..... Cue major over-reaction and me saying to him never, ever speak to me again etc. .... I was moving departments at the time so was fairly confident I wouldn't see him for a while. The girlfriend was only in the country until this month then moving away.Then at a doooooo I bumped into him and he said he was 'gutted' by what I said and that he 'loved me to bits'. I was like, yeah whatever and moved on. Since then I have been moved back to his team as a supervisor (bummer). The old hints have again been dropped. The old girlfriend is gone now but i have started a relationship myself, albeit a bad one. We went out for our Xmas do and he was all over me, kissing my hair etc. Then he got really pissed and my new boyfriend turned up and he made a point of kissing some lass in front of me.Now I'm totally confused. Everyone at work thinks we should be together. He is clearly still attracted to me. He calls me a lot and we text each other all the time. The last time we spent together I talked about my very bad new relationship and he was encouraging me to be single and then said that he had an interest in me being single and smiled.He is more attentive and complimentary than both the hubby I lost and the man I'm with but I'm confused by the mixed signals. I don't know what to do!!What is clear is that I'm ditching the bad boyfriend I have!! But should I give this man a go??Sorry for the long post but no-one can make a judgement on half the information can they!!
View related questions:
alcoholic, at work, divorce, kissing, moved in, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI gave it a go and it was a total disister!! The first two dates were fine but then he told some young lad from work that we were seeing each other and .... lo and behold ... he starts ignoring me!! Some guys from work were heard bullying him about me saying that they couldn't believe he had gone anywhere near me and that I was fat and worthless. He then came into my office and started discussing another woman he started seeing I was angry beyond belief! Since then people at work seem to make it their life's mission to hurt me about the whole thing.
Worst thing is that I am now his line manager so have to communicate with him. I do my utmost to be very polite to him which sets tongues wagging that I still fancy him which I soooo don't now. Luckily he has taken a path which means he doesn't work with me so much but I went on a course with him recently and I caught a lad I thought was decent mugging off because we were sat in a class together.
After the whole divorce scenario which you can all read on my link, I am reeling. I have gained around 2 stone and feel totally worthless. As I work so many hours I am unlikely to meet people outside of work and am devestated that people will not let this thing go. Everu time I am forced to speak to this guy people are looking at me as if to say 'oh yeah' .
There is a person I quite like at work, unfortunately one of his closest friends is one of the ones who used to tease me about this guy.
I'm away on training courses for the next two months so will see neither of them. The lad I like often texts me but is really shy. I have no idea what to do. If he has heard the rumours about me then there is no way he will be interested in me as some of them are really, really bad.
|
