A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy for a few months who's alot older than me. Recently I've been spending alot of time with his son who is my age. I've found myself developing feelings for him but don't know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2008): If you are serious about pursuing the son, I will say don't go there! Please. If you can't get your feelings under control for the son, then I think you should immediately bail out of this relationship with the father, and definitely NOT date the son. You should just move on, girl to a much less complicated family situation. This is a time where you should be using your head and not thinking with your heart! .
Because, if you go ahead and date the son, then that means you will dump Dad. By doing such a thing, you could very well cause a massive rift in this family that may never heal...and even if you and son didn't work out---this wedge could go on for for years after you leave the scene completely. Is that what you want for this man and his son, his family, the siblings, the extended family? It would create pain, hurt and unecessary chaos.
Or the other option: is to make the clear cut decision to not get involved, romantically with the son. Leave it as an infatuation, in your head, work it through silently and muster up the maturity and rationale to know, the son is off limits and you will never be able to go there. Plain and simple.
One of the true marks of maturity and character, is making decisions about others, decisions that help them, not hurt them. Decisions that require us not to 'just think of our own self-involved wants and desires'. I hope you are up for the challenge here, hun...because the happiness of a father-son relationship may hang by a thread if you don't do the right thing. Good luck and think wisely.
A
male
reader, Bryanz  +, writes (18 November 2008):
This may sound very mean. But...In that situation there is no way out but to break up with his father and have nothing to do with both of them. I'm sorry if this may hurt you, but it's the truth. It's a very odd situation that normally doesn't happen.
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A
female
reader, hate_addicted +, writes (17 November 2008):
Wow that is quite an odd situation. I am not sure how you can get out of that situation and not hurt someones feelings. How long have you been seeing his father?
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