A
female
age
,
*owhere to turn
writes:I am a 48yo female dating a wonderful 50yo man, the thing is that I realized he was dependant on oxycodone for a shoulder injury and I confronted him. He is on suboxine, however he seems to be in a deep depression, one day he would seem great, then have no motivation to want to do anything, he can go from a wonderful evening to the next day be a polite stranger in the same room. Making love is far and few between, he will build an invisible wall around him so it's hard to communicate.. he has been open and honest with me when I confront him, he feels lost, he wants to feel happy... nothing brings him that level of happiness he says... not me, his daughter, anything... he definetely is struggling and I feel lost in limbo...because I love him and do noot want to wal away.. but I am scared that maybe I am wanting something that is not there...any thoughts? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, nowhere to turn +, writes (2 October 2008):
nowhere to turn is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much... those links will prove iseful!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008): Yes indeed.. it dose sound like depression or something involving that. It's not personal, he's not well, he doesn't mean to feel this way or treat you like this. He definitely has to go and see his doctor and see if they can do anything to help him out. He's on medication, I know nothing about what he's taking, but it could cause depression as a side effect. Encourage him to see a doctor, in the mean time you have to work with what you have. If you can't make love, then just hold him. If he won't allow it, then just lie beside him. Realise that it's an illness he has, not that he doesn't love you. If he has depression, sometimes it will take over his life and make him distant towards you. You must think about yourself as well. Try to do things and go places without him. Remember to have fun and do things that are just about you. The doctor can help him get back on track, this is the first thing to do if you want to help this man...
Here are some links that might help you understand what you may be dealing with..
http://depression.about.com/od/seekinghelp/tp/relationships.htm
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/depressrelation.htm
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A
female
reader, nowhere to turn +, writes (1 October 2008):
nowhere to turn is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you... I suggested therapy, but he wants to explore the internet to learn more about the suboxone side effects... I think still in denial... but he is acknowleding a problem, justnot "ready" it seems to do therapy...(sigh)
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (1 October 2008):
 Sounds like either depression or bipolar. Have him see a therapist. She will ask him questions to determine which it is he has.
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