A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:I am messing around with this guy from work for 6 months now. He has been really hard to understand, sometimes he wants me there and sometimes he doesn't (which i can understand he needs some space, time alone). But when we are together he's respectul, funny, shows me a good time, hugs me non stop, kisses me, and of course we end the sleep-overs with sex (most of the time). He doesn't want anyone at work to know about us and claims that it's our business. Lately he has text me how he enjoys my company. Is he falling for me? Does he want more than the relationship we have now? Is he scared of getting hurt because I leave in 5 weeks to go back home...what should I do to find out?
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at work, needs some space, text Reply to this Question |
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male
reader, q1605  +, writes (6 July 2008):
 I think he has yet to put you at the top of his priority list. You are trailing behind his desire to remain gainfully employed at the firm that employs the both of you now. It may be that while your relationship provides many of his emotional needs. He has grown accustomed to the food and shelter that his job provides. Work place romances at best tends to destabilize the office dynamic and at worst can lead to untold litigation costs when a spurned lover decides that it was the duty of their employer to provide them with a work environment free of perverts that were formerly bona fide soul mates.So in the interests of nipping these things in the bud, they will summarily fire anyone getting frisky on company property. You probably signed a contract of conditions of employment and didn't read it.And they may not be hard asses about it unless things get out of hand. So on the job he tends to down play romance in the interests of continued employment. Ask him why. But anywhere you are, if you aspire to move up the ranks this is the kind of thing that can keep you tethered. It indicates poor impulse control. Which is the foundation of an effective manager. It undermines your ability to lead by example. You can't ask rank and file to apply themselves while you are popping out for a nooner with one of their peers.
A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (6 July 2008):
 If after 6 months he still wants to keep it a secret, it doesn't sound to me like he is taking it too seriously, unless there is some strict policy at work against dating?
If you are going hoime (wherever that mgith be) in 5 weeks, I would imagine he doesn't think you are taking it too seriously either...It sounds like you aren't on the same page, maybe it's time for a little chat with him to see where you both stand and how you feel?
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