A
female
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:It's approaching my 16th birthday and Im considering having sex with my longterm boyfriend, however I'm extremely worried about the pain.The non-virgins among my friends have all said it hurt and Im really scared.Is there anything I do to help with the pain? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008): The only time it hurts is when he enters your vagina. The day after you might be a little sore, but once it is in there, there will be no problems.
A
female
reader, *Jess* +, writes (2 May 2008):
 Don't stress about it, the more relaxed you are the more comfortable the experience will be! I personally didn't feel much pain and I didn't bleed either, it was just a bit uncomfortable. If you tell your boyfriend to be very gentle and go slow and make sure he 'warms you up' first, you should be fine! Trust me, if it hurt that bad no-one would ever do it would they? xxx
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A
female
reader, beutifullybrokenhearted  +, writes (2 May 2008):
 So, what you do is make sure he knows what he's dealing with here. If he knows that you're a virgin, he'll be understanding if you tell him that you can't do it. No matter how scared you are, stay completely relaxed and don't tense up no matter how badly it hurts cause that's what makes you bleed if you don't already. You also have to know that you're gonna end up sleeping with some one eventually and if you want it to be him, then go for it but be sure that he's the right one and you wont end up regretting everything later. Don't be scared and just have fun. =) Ohh, and use protection cause you don't wanna kid ya'll.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008): To me, it only hurt when he put his penis in. After that, it felt nice. I was lubricated though, because I was relaxed. I also didn't bleed. But it varies from person to person. Just remember that the more relaxed you are, the better it will be. Tell your boyfriend to be gentle, if he's a virgin he may not really know what he's doing. However, after the first time it should feel better every time. Just be relaxed, and you'll be okay. It hurts, but not as much as some people say it does.
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A
female
reader, Kimaxsi  +, writes (2 May 2008):
Its different for different people, I personally found it painful. 1. Make sure your ready first. Before you do this you should be completely comfortable talking to your boyfriend about sex, including your anxieties, and protection/birth control and your sexual histories. You should feel confident in insisting he use a condom (if I were you I'd keep some with you now that you starting to think about being active b/c you never know when the mood will be right and make sure you know how to correctly put a condom on, you may laugh but its tricky I can't say how many times my husband has hurt himself lol). If your not on birth control (which is probably the case since you aren't yet sexually active) the thing is you might want to start and ask the doctor how long before it becomes effective. You want to be extra sure you don't get pregnant.2. Use lube, its messy but it'll help reduce friction, since your nervous its possible you'll have some vaginal dryness3. Engage in a lot of foreplay to get yourself in the mood and feeling relaxed, the hornier you are the easier it'll be but don't try and get drunk or something to relax (bad idea you want to remember this and you don't want to forget the condom) 4. Have him finger you and such to soften you up and get you good and relaxed and nice and wet the wetter the better, tell him what you like. I guess you masturbate or at least are comfortable and familiar with you body if you are considering having sex. If not you might want to try that first, ya know experiment a little maybe with your own fingers, if you are comfortable with your own body its easier Lastly there is no reason to rush, it might be romantic on your birthday but you know you really need to be sure you are really ready for it, cause its a big deal! I don't regret my first time at all I had sex with the man I was going to spend my life with, and we've now been married 8 years. But so many people regret their first times and that's sad :(
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A
male
reader, Andrew83 +, writes (2 May 2008):
 1st of all, i'm glad your with the law on havin sex at 16.
all i can advise you to do is take it slow, talk to each other with havin sex, if he goes too fast and its hurtin then tell him to slow down, also use protection and maybe take the mornin after pill.
as some will say on here, its not the same for everyone, eg some it will hurt more than others and some it wont hurt as you may think.
just go slow and talk to each other while doin it. hope this helps and happy 16th birthday to you, all the best :)
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