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I'm confused by this crush I have!

Tagged as: Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 September 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 17 September 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have a crush on this guy. He is now friends with me and my husbsnd. I have been married for 7 years now I totaly have a great marrige but I dont know what happen. I am a bartender he comes in when I work that is how we met. Now my husband and i hang out with him all the time even at his house. We talk on the phone all the time even text. I know he likes me he has told me. I have told him how I felt and that nothing could never happen I would not do that. I thought it would make me fell better but I still like him. What do i do I am lost and confused.

View related questions: crush, text

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009):

Start talking sexual fantasies with him. Do it during sex not after. Ask what his are or if he could have any fantasies come true what are they. He'll ask yours but he has to tell his first. Maybe yours is playing strip poker with your friend and your husband. Tell him you think you can win and the two of them would be naked. Or tell him your dream of the three of you were in a hot tub naked. Nothing happened but you were embarrassed and the two of them just kept laughing at your embarrassment. This will start him thinking of sexual things involving your friend. Maybe one thing will lead to another.

I'm 70 and it worked many years ago with my wife. I had sex with her girl friend and she with my friend, on different occasions. We did make a pac, never with anyone you work with or for. And we always asked each other if it was okay. If something came up and one could not be asked then do it but tell the other as soon as possible. Never fall in love, remember, you love each other your only having sex which is fun. Good luck! enjoy its only sex Still married 46 years and we still laugh and talk about our affair's.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009):

You've found that this fellow finds you attractive and you've picked up on that so that you've developed feelings for him. However, you've got a great marriage and if you did anything with this guy you would ruin the wonderful relationship you have developed with your dear husband. You would also hate yourself for deceiving your husband as he is not aware that you two have a connection beyond just friendship.

Just chuck one up for your attractiveness and cool the friendship with this fellow so that he understands you will not play with him and that you are fully committed to your relationship with your husband. Do not waiver and do not feed or maintain your idea that you are attracted to him. It is just a feeling and you can let it go by telling yourself that it is not proper. If you're looking for more romance from your partner ask him to provide it again for you. If you are looking for adventure sign up for a travel adventure somewhere that is exotic and fun with your husband.

In short, keep your self-respect intact and tactfully defuse the connection with the interloper.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009):

do not do anything with out knowledge of your husband.

if you do that - you are cheating.

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