A
male
age
41-50,
*ovingfool
writes:3 years ago i cought my wife cheating. i forgave her and took her back. however she continues to lie to me about everyday things. and the biggest thing of all is she wont open up and behonest and share her thoughts and feelings with me. and i feel if it dont change soon it might end our marrage of 11 1/2 years.what should i do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2010): I'm going out on a limb here but I think she is probably just using you for financial stability. I think she is probably just stringing you along just enough to keep you under her control. I would suggest marriage counciling. If she is unwilling to meet you half way then I'd find the nearest divorce lawyer.
A
male
reader, Kama  +, writes (2 June 2010):
 I second both of the other poster's. An ultimatum is the way. You have done something with forgiveness that I find amazing, and for it, if it is as you say, I think you are amazing. It's your wife's turn to be amazing with you, emotionally. If she can't or won't it seems that you may just hurt forever. Don't do it! Maybe the only way for her to open up is an ultimatum? Good luck -- I feel for you
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (2 June 2010):
 Your wife has cheated but you forgave her and you tried to have a fresh start. If she is being secretive and you feel she is with holding information than I suggest you ask her straight out. Tell her that for the sake of you marriage you would want her to open up, and also mention to her that even though you forgave her, she still has a long way to go for the trust to regrow.
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A
male
reader, lovingfool +, writes (2 June 2010):
lovingfool is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your feed back. I just wish there was a way to help her open up.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 June 2010):
I think, to be honest, you need to give her the ultimatum here. You've already caught her cheating, but her behaviour is still very suspicious, and it could be that she still is cheating, or is just not in the marriage anymore. I think you've done enough here, and it's up to her to prove she's worth another moment of your time.
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