A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so there's this guy I really like, he's 19 and I'm 18. I'm a virgin and I just found out that he's not, but he only did it once when he was a senior and with a girlfriend he had had for over a year. He's a really great and sweet guy and when I asked him he was just honest and told me the truth, and he says he feels horrible about it now. I'm really trying to not let it bother me, but it still kind of does and I can't really help it. What should I do, and how can I get it to stop bothering me? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2009): Well, if he was/is such a great guy ... why his last relationship ended? How long after he had sex? Their paths separated? If yes, does that show maturity, if sex meant/means more to him than just some physical urge? Or, maybe he picked the wrong girl? He gave away to lust? What's so special about that? Maybe those sort of thoughts are bothering you ... the (unconscious?) thought of becoming less special than you already are, by getting involved with him?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2009): You need to think that that was his past and he was with the girl for over a year, he probably didnt even know that you would come into his life. Ask him that if he had known that you would come into him life would he have waited? if the answer is yes, then you surely have the respect and love from him. you should not let this bother you as he was with the girl for over a year, so it is not as if he has been sleeping around. If you truely love him and want to sleep with him,then you should trust him enough to loose your virginity to him, even if he sdid not loose his to you xx
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A
female
reader, MuffinGirl  +, writes (24 February 2009):
 Do you have Christian beliefs? I hope not. Well, when i was virgin and in relationship with my first boyfriend, it's bothering me a bit. When i have my second boyfriend, who was virgin and i wasn't.. Well, what can i say.. sex was horrible at the first few times. So you should be glad and relaxed, because it's not such a big deal. He's old enough and you wouldn't be the first virgin who have sex with more experienced guy. Virgin guys can have a few "technical" problems in sex at the first time, so it can be a really good thing. :)
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (24 February 2009):
 If his past upsets you, you need to figure out why. Are you a very religious/ moral person who believes in waiting for marriage? Whatever your views are, he was not with you at the time. You have no right to punish him for something he did a year ago while in a committed relationship with someone else, especially since he has been nothing but honest to you.
If he is a religious/ moral person who wishes he had waited for marriage, then you need to let him live wih that personal let down. It is not fair of you to throw it in his face, or 'punish' him by being upset with him. It sounds like he is upset enough. You need to understand that when he lost his virginity, it had nothing to do with you. It was not personal.
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A
male
reader, Lunchbox +, writes (24 February 2009):
I think a lot of people can relate to this. It is rare that you'll find someone that is still a virgin at this age. I congratulate you by the way. But I think that by him having sex with just that one girl that was his girlfriend over a year shows great values in the guy. I'm sure he respects you and and your choices. Many people go through this but you'll learn to let it go as it is in the past.
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