A
female
age
18-21,
*ssmith89
writes:This is my first real relationship. I'm 19 hes 20, and we went out on our second date, last night. We made out for a long time and it was hot:P I am a virgin and he is not at all. I know he wants to have sex and I want to too but I don't want to kill the relationship. He isn't pressuring me or anything but I don't want to like give it up and then its like over u know? I like being a semi-challenge. So my question is how long should I wait to sleep with him. I know everyone's like "when ur ready" but I am ready now. lol but I don't want to be another skank he just bangs then dumps. I don't think hes that kind of guy but u know the whole virgin thing has him intrigued. So does anyone have a good rule of thumb for having sex with a man that they want to be more than a casual relationship??? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): If you don't want to be another skank on this guy's hit list, then maybe you shouldn't hook up with a guy who hits a list of skanks.
A
female
reader, satindesire +, writes (24 February 2009):
 Wait for at least six months, then start thinking about if you're really ready or not. Don't TELL him about the six-month deadline, okay? Else he might just stick around for that long just to get some from you.
Some men are out to hook up and get laid. You need to weed these kinds of guys out by NOT letting them get into your pants. Usually the ones who just want sex will give up after a few months (if they're persistent...some give up after a week or two!) but a man who truly cares about you will wait as long as you want.
Your goal is to find a man who loves you for you, not a guy who just wants the wet hole between your legs. Trust me, sex with a player SUCKS. They don't care about your pleasure at all, the sex is lousy 'cause all they want to do it get off and leave...do you REALLY want your first time to be like that?
A man who cares about you will make sure that you are happy, comfortable and pleased with sex. But only when you're ready.
Keep this in mind. Seriously, it'll help get rid of the losers.
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (24 February 2009):
 Hon if you have waited this long, what is another year or two? Give the relationshp time to grow and don't rush into the more intimante part of it. Sex is something to be shared between two people who really care about and love one another. It may seem an bit old fashioned but waiting for marriage still is a good idea! This is espcially true with the diseases and the lack of respect for sexual partners these days.
Just because you give yourself away to this guy DOESN'T mean that you WILL ALWAYS be with him. By maintaining your self respect you will ultimately gain more of his. That is unless he is after one thing! You say he isn't ready, so that should be a dead giveaway to WAIT! If you pressure him to have sex he may decide you don't messure up to his expectations. If he loves you, YOU COULD BLOW IT BIGTIME@ If you love him IT REALLY ISN'T WORTH THE CHANCE! I promise you that if you wait and he is the one, it will only make things better. Only when the time is right will it be RIGHT!
It sounds like you care about your new guy alot and from the early stages it is much too soon to even be thinking about having sex with him! PERIOD! Again, you said he isn't a Virgin, take the time to know that he wants more out of this relationship than JUST SEX! You will only be doing yourself harm to give in to less that what you really deserve and that is THE BEST OF EVERYTHING AND NOT JUST A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP OR A ROMP IN THE HAY!
ASK GOD TO HELP YOU WITH THE TEMPTATIONS AND ASK THAT HIS WILL BE DONE!
God bless,
Blue_Angel
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A
female
reader, Annalisa  +, writes (24 February 2009):
 Get to know each other well and don't be afraid totalk things through. Make sure he deserves to be your first!
It doesn't necessarily matter at what point of your relationship you start having sex... my husband and I were at it pretty quickly!
I think it's about building a friendship with each other, have fun together, have serious discussions about your principals, get to know him well, until you trust him and feel like he loves you... Then you'll truely be ready and you can hope it'll mean more than just a fling.
But ultimately, it takes time for a relationship to become strong and meanngful and how you see your sexuality will be part of what he'll fall for. Whether he respects and loves you after you've crossed that line depends more on his feelings towards you and on his attitude before you do than on any action on your part.
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