A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm 19 and I am still a virgin. Is this normal? All of my friends have had sex. there is one girl I like but she is 14. Should I wait for her or just go for it?
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male
reader, daletom  +, writes (14 July 2009):
Is a 19-year old virgin "normal"? He certainly is! For the record, my wife and I were both 23 when we exchanged virginity (she got mine, and I took hers in return).
This varies a lot between countries and between cultures. I don't have credible statistics for the U.K., but you can probably find them if you look.
The U.S. "Center for Health Statistics" says that about 22% of 20-year old women are virgins (see http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/sr_23/sr23_025.pdf , Table 32) and about the same percentage of 20-year old men are virgins (see http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/sr_23/sr23_026.pdf , Table 14).
They also say about 10% of guys, and 15% of girls, are virgins up to the month they are married. (See http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/about/major/nsfg/abclist_p.htm#premarital , look for "Premarital Sex" near the bottom of the page.)
There are also a LOT of questionable polls, surveys, and statistics floating around on this subject. Many of these are created by organizations or groups that have a political, commercial, or social stake in the outcome. I'm not even convinced that the studies I cited above are as scientifically valid as they could be, but they DO provide a lot of information, in one place, that is consistent within itself.
One effect that shows up in longitudinal studies in the U.S. is that teens tend to over-report their sexual activity. In other words, a lot of your friends who SAY they are having sex, are actually NOT having sex. It's not clear why this is - the same folks who over-reported their sexual activity tended to under-report other behaviors such as tobacco, drugs, alcohol, academic cheating, etc. The U.K. may be different.
No, don't go sleeping with the 14-year old! Quite apart from the legal questions, she is not yet physically, mentally, or emotionally capable of giving you a really fulfilling sexual experience.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): It sounds like you haven't had sex before because you're not confident about it - which is why you're chasing little schoolgirls. Find yourself a woman with the object of being friends, then when things develop, the sex will come naturally.Btw, it's not abnormal but certainly unusual.
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A
male
reader, dddddddd  +, writes (14 July 2009):
A lot more common than you think. Sure there are plenty of people who lose their virginity in their teens but it isn't uncommon a bit older either. I was 20, which was a few years ago.
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A
female
reader, shnookims  +, writes (14 July 2009):
 My boyfriend lost his virginity 2 years ago to me! :) He was 21 and he was really embarrassed so he lied at first and said that he wasn't. A while into our relationship he admitted that I had been his first and, apart from being a little ticked off about the lie, I was impressed... Don't let it bug you.I agree with the other 2 posts about the 14 year old girl. As you get older age will matter less but for the time being that kind of age difference makes a big difference. At the end of the day, you really don't want to be charged with rape.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (14 July 2009):
 dude it's cool! it's really refreshing to find a 19 year old boy whose still a virgin i mean i am 20 years old and still a virgin.
i wouldn't just go for it with a 14 year old girl because she's underage and you could get into trouble.
either wait for her or find someone around your age range :)
would be a better possibility as i'm sure you don't want to get into trouble for having sex with an underaged girl you could get into a lot of trouble.
why rush it?
wait for that someone special you know whose special.
Sex is meant to be more of a connection than just some fun it's meant to a special connection between two people coming closer together in a relationship finding out about eachother exploring eachothers bodies and connecting.
Hope this helps hun :)
message me if you want to talk further :)
x ilovebowsandcherries x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): Yeah it's perfectly normal, I didn't lose mine 'til I was 20 and it doesn't bother me one bit. Virginity isn't a big deal at all.
As far as you going for the 14 year old girl you like, the only answer anyone here should/could give you is, no. She is under the age of consent which means you sleeping with her would be rape, because she can't legally give her consent.
You have two choices, wait for her to be legal or go out and find someone else, I normally don't consider age difference to matter but in this case it does. It would be unethical for anyone to advise you otherwise.
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