A
female
age
36-40,
*haywar25
writes:I am a 25 year old women with 4 kids and I am 9 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend of 3 years wants me to terminate my pregnancy but he also told me its my body and whatever my decision is he will support me no matter what and he will stay with me. we have a 1 year old son I had an abortion once before in 2007 from a previous relationship it didn't affect because my relationship was ruined and we already had 2 children together that he barely took care of. I want to keep my baby that I'm pregnant with now but I know its going to be hard because financially we are not able to take care of another baby. me personally I know it won't be so bad but it will take time to get through it. I also feel like I'm being selfish if I do bring this baby into the world if my bf doesn't want it I'm scared also because abortions can also be dangerous and I've never been so confused about any pregnancy. I love kids yes I started early my oldest is 8 and I love my babies to death but I'm confused and I don't want to upset my bf but I feel bad if I do have this abortion please help me and give me advice
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2010): You're considering a fifth child in this?
Abortions are not emotionally painless procedures. But neither are unplanned children.
A
female
reader, jessper84 +, writes (23 February 2010):
This is a very hard choice for you but if you have four children already I'm sure you are stuggling one more won't make such a difference. I got an abortion 1 year ago and it still hurts cause you always wonder what that baby could become it will haunt you cause it haunts me everyday ansd if I coulds turn back the hands of time I would have kept whatever the situation was. But that's your choice if u can handle it or not. God will not punish you whatever choice you make is meant. Its already written in gods book. Think about it very well and good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010): You sound as if you like babies. If i were you, i would keep this child then have a sterilization x
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A
male
reader, goodguy11 +, writes (22 February 2010):
Why not give it up for adoption.
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (22 February 2010):
 You have four kids already, five kids will be difficult for you all financially. Your oldest is only 8 that means the others are younger and will be demanding attention. You have a one year old, that means this child is still in nappies and probably isn't walking yet. That's a lot of strain on a relationship, and a lot of strain on a family as you make space for another baby.
It's your body, your boyfriend is right. It's your decision and your decision alone to make. I suggest you go to your nearest planned pregnancy clinic and go talk to some experts who will show you all the options that are available to you.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (22 February 2010):
 Right now you are confused and frightened, so its hard to think clearly. But try to think AHEAD..what will you feel like in a year? 5 years from now about this pregnancy? What can YOU live with (or without)?? It will be very hard raising 5 children, but it CAN be done. Do you have support from your family in case the boyfriend isn't there down the road? What do you really want sweetie? You have to search yourself. I was in a similar situation to you once..married, 2 kids...youngest was just a year old. Unplanned pregnancy. Bad financial situation. We decided there was NO WAY we could have a third child. I terminated at 7 weeks. My husband told me later he wished he would have came and stopped it and I was praying he would..but neither one of us spoke up about it. That was 22 years ago, and it still haunts me with the "what ifs". Just a little food for thought for you..Just be sure ok? WHATEVER YOU DO. Don't do anything that you don't want to do. Please PM me if I can help in any way. Take care.
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