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I'm 22, a virgin and never had a boyfriend!

Tagged as: Friends, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2007) 16 Answers - (Newest, 11 April 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I really need some help.

Im 22 and ive never had a proper bf.

Ive been on dates and ive kissed a guy before.

Last week i went out wiv this guy who was really nice, he was clingy though and i ran a mile. now he thinks ive messed him around and wont talk to me.

Im still a virgin and dont want to rush anything.

please whats your advice?

View related questions: never had a boyfriend, still a virgin

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A female reader, mutemo Canada +, writes (11 April 2011):

I'm 22, a virgin and never had a boyfriend. I have been on dates but this was all arranged by my parents and still happens.

I have never had sex because I am a faithful muslim, but it is so hard to deal with it when I feel like I want it so bad.

the reason why I have never been asked out without my parents interfierence would be because I am shy, and I also don't want people to think that I am despirate.

I would not date someone just so that I would spend time with them. we both have to agree that we are dating because we want to get to know eachother to see if we are compatible to get married later.

I wish I could find that special person who would understand me. and wouldn't be awekward when I talk about my beliefes.

who knows I will someday find myself that special man, who is religious and looks good at the same time. cuz usually muslim guys who look good are too cocky and are not religious.

cheers.

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A female reader, mutemo Canada +, writes (11 April 2011):

I'm 22, a virgin and never had a boyfriend. I have been on dates but this was all arranged by my parents and still happens.

I have never had sex because I am a faithful muslim, but it is so hard to deal with it when I feel like I want it so bad.

the reason why I have never been asked out without my parents interfierence would be because I am shy, and I also don't want people to think that I am despirate.

I would not date someone just so that I would spend time with them. we both have to agree that we are dating because we want to get to know eachother to see if we are compatible to get married later.

I wish I could find that special person who would understand me. and wouldn't be awekward when I talk about my beliefes.

who knows I will someday find myself that special man, who is religious and looks good at the same time. cuz usually muslim guys who look good are too cocky and are not religious.

cheers.

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A male reader, SoccerJosh United States +, writes (31 January 2011):

Hey, I'm 22, male, also a virgin. I have only kissed three girls, setting the milestone for the "farthest I have gone." Oh yeah guys! I'm cruisin :D ... Never really had a girlfriend unless a summer relationship in the 8th grade counts :P ... Everyone has had their chances but for better or for worse, some never acted on them, I being one. Don't really know why either. I'm catholic, so maybe that's why ... or maybe it was bc I enjoyed spending my time playing sports or at the movies??? Maybe it was bc my older sister lost her virginity at 14 and cried for days when the high school senior wanted nothing to do with her afterwards. (shes 25 now with 2 amazing kids btw) but I remember watching her crying and thinking, "Why would anyone put someone through something like this?" ... maybe its bc I watched all my best friends slowly change after they each lost their virginity. Maybe its bc I was never really curious about sex when everyone else was ... or maybe its bc when I finally became curious, I was wise enough to not follow the same mistakes my friends and family did.

I used to think I was going to wait till marriage bc of being catholic and all but Id be a liar if I said that's how I truly feel now. I'm torn in two, a part of me wants to wait till marriage but another part doesn't want to wait, so long as I find someone special. I have two semesters left in college and I'm in a fraternity. It's very difficult to not have sex based under my circumstances but my virginity remains. I don't know why I haven't lost my virginity yet. I guess deep down inside it doesn't feel right and I'm not ready. So the only advice I can give to you is: stay true to who you are and let God guide you ... he's guided you this far, you just have to believe and follow him.

Oh and to answer the person below me ... When a guy around our age finds out the girl he is talking to is a virgin, they are afraid to take your virginity bc they think you'll be clingy. At least thats what my best friend said after he stopped talking to a girl who he found out was a virgin. And hes been with more then 23 girls so hes your typical man whore :/ ... Personally, when I find a girl who is a virgin, I find it to be extremely attractive ... I mean, I know what shes going through and I feel really comfortable around her.

Hope this helped

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2011):

Im 22 about to be 23 in a few days and i never had a boy friend or kiss or sex .When i tell a guy that am a virgin they run-a-way why do they run they say how they dont want a "hoe" but yet they dont what a "good girl" either i jus dont kno what to do. Sometimes i think i should jus go with ther flow and do it but my heart tell stay true to myself and wait for the right one who will love you with all there heart and would not mind wait tell he put a ring on it and you his wife.

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A female reader, archykins Canada +, writes (2 January 2011):

i am 22-23 female. i have never been kissed or on a date but have been asked out numerous times. Yet i always declines. Im not overly religious or have any emotional connection to the idea of giving myself fully to a future husband by being this way. I am who i am. dont stress if it is fate it will come along for you :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008):

am 22 nearly 23 female never kissed never dated never had sex (my choice) been asked out a bunch of times but chose to stay friends rather than "date" i am a christian and am very happy about the choices ive made regarding my sexuality i know that i will give myself 100% to the man i marry and he will do the same for me! ahhh! anything more sexy than that??!!! NOPE! :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2008):

I'm 28 and I've never even kissed a girl. I say be cool. I've waited this long because when I was younger I spent time with a lot of Christians (still do), and they would always be on my case about things like drinking and tobacco, yet they were always the ones that were twice as messed up as me over all their boy/girl trouble. It put me off. Also, I was a lot slower about making up my mind about whether or not I really wanted to date a girl than most guys (I wanted to get to know them better as friends before showing my feelings), and inevitably some guy would come along who didn't care about making sure of their compatibility as a couple and then I would be ancient history. The funny thing was, these girls would just totally sever ties with me, which I can understand to a point, but then they'd want to be my friend again when that relationship ended. I really couldn't be bothered too much, though, after that--they seemed so rude, know what I mean? When someone just totally drops you like that, it's hard for me to really care again. Anyway, the years have gone by and it seems harder to meet people at my age. I do play in an Irish bar band which is almost as silly as stories indicate in terms of women sort of throwing themselves at you. Obviously I don't find these women especially interesting.

The thing is, there simply aren't that many things that we share with only one or two people in this life. Even intimate conversation, we've gotta go through that to get to know someone anyway. Ya see? There may as well be one thing (i.e., sex) that isn't something that you've shared with every other person you've ever met.

Stay cool, your man will probably be grateful someday. By the way, if a relationship ends with a guy/girl because you don't want to have sex, it seriously isn't worth it. I'm a man, and I can honestly tell you that if I really loved someone or even thought I did, lack of sex would not matter at all.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008):

Hey just wanted to let you know your posting was very helpful and the replies to your posting was also. I am a very attractive 21 year old virgin who feels that I can't keep a man because I don't put out. This posting not only made me feel as if I'm not alone but that I just may be normal and if I'm not normal atleast I have a gang to hang out with... Thank you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008):

Hey I am 22, almost 23 and you might as well call be a virgin. I had sex once when I was 18 to a girl who was that clingy type you describe. It wasn't that great, wasn't too comfortable about it. Haven't had a girlfriend since since I am a relatively shy person when it comes to those things.

The good thing is you are still a virgin, so choose wisely. I have only had 2 girlfriends in my life. Sadly I was too shy with the first girl who I really liked to express myself physically, and I guess could say settled for second best.

Just take it easy I guess. I think about it all the time, the more I think about it the more I get depressed, so just wait until you start dating a guy for a while and think he is worth it, to have you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008):

I am a guy, and would love to meet, and possibly have a relationship with a girl who was a virgin. In fact I would prefer it. I meet too many girls that are young, 18 and 19, that have already slept with many guys. I'm not terribly religious, I just think it is something special.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008):

It seems the boyfriend girlfriend troubles are getting worse for the children of our age. To compete with video games, and digital sexy women it's no wonder why many of us don't have a boyfriend. Don't feel bad about it. All things happen in there own due time. I have never had a boy friend, but i have been in love with a guy who didn't return the feelings. It was one of those I love him, he thinks I'm a nice girl but not for him stories. Technically, I've never been on a date. I've hang with guys in a group. But none dare touch me, they've never even tried and kiss me. They know I'm religious. Enough said. I want a guy and I figured to get a nice guy. I'll half to go where they are. Pick up a sports such as golf, skiing, snowboarding and join clubs or activities they like. Perhaps, I'll find a guy who will want to be with me, and I'll want to be with him. Perhaps even drop the religion for a while. Since the religious boys don't dare look at a girl, or want to touch her.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008):

hey, dont feel bad,im 25 and still a virgin! ive kissed guys but thats it, and that was back in the day when i was like 15. i dont even have any friends to hang out with because they all moved away in the same summer. i dont go out anywhere either except for work and the grocery store. and i guess it doesnt help that i got really freakin fat-went from 140 to 200lbs cause i eat when im bored and depressed-which is most of the time (sigh) im lonely as hell!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007):

I'm also nearly 22 and also still a virgin. I feel lonely and really want to find someone to make a real connection with and share our lives. I have lots of friends, and am no more physically unattractive than lots of people I know in loving relationships, so I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. Just wanted you to know - you're not the only one!!

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A female reader, WeLoveMe United Kingdom +, writes (1 June 2007):

WeLoveMe agony auntYeah, this would be your first time, so it has to be special. There should be no such thing as settling for second best! I've came across alot of clingy people and no wonder you ran, its such a turn-off!

Now, your 22 years old, still soo young. I'd get out there, have you ever tried internet dating websites? I've heard quite a few success stories with them.

When you find someone, like you say there's no need to rush into anything. Your first time should be a memorable one with someone deeply and truely special enough for you to lose it too. You were right about that guy, you haven't messed him around, you got to know him and didn't find him attratcive. Simple as that.

There will be someone out there for you, you just have to look!

Take care, let me know how it goes! x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007):

I'm 22 and to be honest I can't live without sex so more power to you for never having any.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007):

I'm 22 and also a virgin but what I would definitely say is trust your instincts. If it doesn't feel right don't go after this guy. So what if he thinks you're messing him around? Tell him why you're put off by him but don't feel sympathetic towards him. You've waited for this long, might as well wait for someone right.

CD

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