A
female
age
30-35,
*aining Tears
writes:well ive been seing this guy for a bit now but were not dating.......weve had sex 4 times already and we text each other alot and hes 18 he texted me the other night saying that i was an angel and that he loves me.......i mean i know its wrong but it feels so right to be with him......and i dont no what to do.I want to be happy and when im around him it just feels like all my troubles are gone....and i really like him but my parents hate him....what do i do?
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female
reader, huneygyrl +, writes (10 January 2009):
 Can you say 15 to life?
You are going to keep hearing it...your parents should report him to the authorities. You are 14? He's 18? He is considered an adult so he preys on young girls. Classified Pedofile.
If your parents really care, they should report him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2009): girl, im 15 with a 18 year old, and in my state, im a minor to. but how the heck do u see him? ur still in midle school, unless ur really smart and skipped a grade, and i dont thing so, cuz a super smart girl would have thought this out.
he hasnt had sex in forever because he cares about me, and he understand that he would hurt me more if he went to jail and was away from me.
so he finger and TALK, which means we have a realtionship, not just together for sex.
think about it.
and yea im going against my parents, but im not going around having sex and ruining my rep, because thats all u r going to do, ruin ur rep
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2009): As you get older, you'll realize that Mom was right. Moms usually are right about most things. Listen to them.
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A
female
reader, nickie123 +, writes (10 January 2009):
 I am not being mean but how old are you? You're sick!! I am sorry but you're sick, or he's sick. I swear he can go to jail for this, you're a kid and you're already having sex with him, be a kid first and you will learn stuff..I don't know if your parents know but they can go to jail for this, you're not in love with him you're just happy because a guy is making you feel like this, he's just playing with your feelings.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2009): I was in a very similar state to you, but i happened to be dating him. As much as i hate to admit it parents are one of the best judges of characters, and as they say we should listen to them. However it depends what they dislike about him, if it is simply his age and not his personality it would be best to have him just have an open talk with them to sort it out.I would also advice to find out if he is wanting a relationship at all, as he is a fair amount older than you(not that it really matters =]). good luck dear (Y)=]
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A
female
reader, -NothingLasts4ever-  +, writes (10 January 2009):
 You're 14 which is under age, he's 18 and you've had sex. He's classed as a paedophile. And considering you're not actually dating him, it's probably not the best idea to stay with him.
How about you stay with him but don't see him as often? Then you are following what your parents want and you're doing what you want. Ask your parents if it's okay and then strike a deal with them. As long as you stick with the deal you make with them, they'll soon learn to love him because he accepts what you say and what they think of it all.
The only reason they probably don't like him is just because of the age gap, they're only looking out of you I'm sure, even though it may not seem like it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2009): First, you've already said you know your relationship is wrong, so I think you've already answered your question and more than anything else are just looking for some added reasoning to back up your correct gut feeling that this isn't good. It can be extremely difficult sometimes to do what's right, when there either doesn't seem to be a problem with your chemistry with another person or when "what's wrong" feels good.
Aside from that, it may be very difficult at 14 to understand that this person is taking advantage of you, even though you get along so well and you may enjoy the sex. In your first few romantic involvements with someone at a young age, the relationship feels great and that can cloud your judgement over whether or not it's in your best interest, especially when someone older seems to be giving you so much attention. Your parents largely disapprove because they understand that, as a 14 yr old, you are still vulnerable to people taking advantage of you and may not have the perspective that older individuals do (out of experience) of how much damage this can do. They also understand that, at 18 yrs old, your partner is far more experienced and knows both that the relationship is wrong and that he has a more persuasive and powerful position. In essence, he knows he can have influence over you and should know better, even if he feels like he means well and acts very kindly to you. That he makes you feel good and says he loves you, while continuing to pursue an inappropriate relationship with you (and understanding that it is against the law and carries lifelong criminal implications) is only further evidence that he also knows you shouldn't be together but is just doing what "feels good" instead.
Finally, the criminal implications are severe if he gets caught and charges are filed against him. He can be ruined for his whole life with trying to find any acceptable job or going to a college, etc. because he would have to register and identify himself as a child sex offender. If you care about him AT ALL, you should immediately understand that you shouldn't be with him because of how horrible the consequences can be for him. And if you do really care for him and he cares for you, wait a few years, and if you still have a bond, you can date him when you're older and both have more of an even position in the relationship.
It's difficult to do what's right, but there's absolutely no doubt here. Good luck!
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