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If I show him that I can give him space and time like he wants do you think he'll want me back?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 January 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 16 January 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I've dated this guy for 18 months. We were looking at moving in from our parent's houses to be alone together for the first time. A week ago he broke up with me out of the blue and the ignored my calls and texts. He said he wanted space and time and in a month or more he wanted to be my friend. He said he does not want to be out of my life forever. He told a mutual friend that he was so happy the whole tme but the last few weeks he felt smothered and manipulated. He never told me these things until the day he left me because he thought they would just go away.

I'm in love with him and he was(is?) in love with me too. He has went from excuse to excuse about why he never wants to be with me again. One was that biochemically we are suppose to be losing our love hormones now, and another was that even if I changed my behavior I would just go back to smothering him in a few weeks. He told me that if another girl couldn't make him happy then he'd find some one else, anyone but me.

I haven't called or texted him for days. I feel deep down that this isn't over and if he really loved me that he will miss me and come back. He lost his virginity to me and everything. I know he isn't interested in dating at all right now, but if I show him that I can give him space and time like he wants do you think he'll want me back?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

He hasn't asked for his stuff back (his PS2, favorite shirt, ect.) He is still wearing all of the jewelry I gave him and he said he doesn't want me out of his life forever. I dont know if those are signs that he isnt 100% done with us.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (15 January 2010):

This is guy isn't ready to commit at all. He's had cold feet about it all, and isn't ready. It's best that it happened now, rather than if you'd moved in. And I know this isn't what you want to hear, but to make up so many excuses to not go back out with you really proves he doesn't love you. He just isn't mature enough to handle commitment, nor is he ready. Your best bet is to cut him out and move on to someone who does love you, because he's not coming back, and you deserve a guy who doesn't make every excuse under the sun not to be with you.

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