A
female
age
,
*UCILLE2
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months. Recently we've been talking about me moving to live with him in the house he's been paying on for 15 years.Should I pay rent to him, plus half of the monthly utility and food bills if I move to live with him?I would be responsible to do all the cooking and cleaning as he doesnt like to, at all, and I would only be able to put my things in one bedroom as his stuff is throughout the rest of the house and the garage, leaving little room for me.I have offered to pay all expenses incurred due to my living there but do not feel I should pay towards his mortgage because I'll be doing all the cleaning and cooking and because we are not married, if he were to kick me out, he would keep everything and I would have nothing. I do not think this is fair and would like your advice. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 June 2010):
 I agree the mortgage is his business, and you two should agree on a fixed price before you move in. In example, how many % of the bills should you pay? 50/50 of all bills except for mortgage sounds reasonable to me. The mortgage is downpayment of his house, you are not married, so why should you help him buy a house you will have no rights to?
If he wants you to pay the mortgage as well, you need your name on the house, as in so and so many % of the house will belong to you.
As for the cooking and cleaning, I see no point in why you should pay less because you do these things. He hasn't hired you. And you're not living with him as a tenant. So you should get tp put your things wherever in the house as well. After all, you pay rent and you live with him, so you get to use the rest of the house outside of the one bedroom. You're not renting only the bedroom. If you were to rent only the bedroom you could demand to pay less, but that whole arrangement would be rather silly. Of course you are to use the rest of the house, you are renting more than just the bedroom, and you should pay 50% of all bills, so you also get to put your things outside of the bedroom!! If you bring plates and cups, put them in the kitchen. Place your soaps and make up in the bathroom. Your pillows on the couch. This will be your home now too. You're not just visiting.
But back to the cleaning and cooking, to make my point clear: he hasn't hired you, you are not working for him, he does not have to "pay" you to do these things. You are not his maid. You are his partner. You don't get to charge payment.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (13 June 2010):
Since it is his house and his name is on it, you shouldn't pay towards the mortgage unless he puts your name on it too. Other than that, split the bills depending on who earns more. That's fair. Don't pay anything towards the mortgage unless he also puts your name on it.
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