A
male
age
26-29,
Amanio
writes:I was to recruited to join Armed Forces but my Gf told me not to join if i want to marry her,"Joining Army,u'll lose me,continuing with my current job we'll get married"Advice what can i do. Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, drastic knowledge  +, writes (4 October 2007):
 she maybe scared hat you could lose your life being in the army but also she shouldnt put you in that situation its not her place to pretty much choose for you!
i say do what you think is best for you and what you feel is right
if this is something you really want to do later in life you just may regert not being abled to do so
i wish you the best but if she cant see that this will make you happy even thow shes important to you than shes no really that caring and more or less selfish as thinking for her self
take care
A
male
reader, Uncle_Phil  + ♥, writes (3 October 2007):
 Join the Army. Girls come and go, but your choice of career should come first. Girls love a guy in uniform, and no doubt once you're in the Army you'll have them falling at your feet.
Good luck
Phil
...............................
A
male
reader, Asexy +, writes (3 October 2007):
 I can see her point, but you need to do what's right for you. You are only dating right now. It's not set in stone that you'll someday marry. And if you go, it's not set in stone that you'll come home.
Make a "decision tree" (decision: go? yes, then these things might happen, no, then these other things might happen. Then from each of those branches, list the pros/cons of all the possible outcomes, and the %chance that that outcome will happen. It will help you see more clearly, so that you can choose.
Make your decision, then let her decide what she's willing to do from there. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): What is more important marrying her or joining the army? Do you think you could live happily with either choice? I really can't blame her. I would not want to get close to a man who is gone at war & putting himself in harm's way. She does not want to be a widow.
...............................
A
female
reader, baby duck +, writes (3 October 2007):
 I am not dismissing your girlfriend's feelings. I am sure she has valid reasons for setting her boundaries.
In the end, it is your choice. Read that last sentence and think about it.
We all have those situations where we know that we could potentially make the wrong choice and, later, when it is 'too late', is when we'll know that we 'should have' chosen another option. That is just a fact of life and there's no cheat sheet to get around it.
That said, it is SO important to make your own choice. If you choose to not join so you are available to marry her, know that it is YOUR choice. She did NOT make it for you. She told you where her boundaries were, but you made your own choice.
If you choose to join, accept that it was your choice, and she did not push you away by setting her own boundaries.
Only you can make this choice, in the literal sense. Whatever choice you make, understand that it was your choice in your head and heart, first.
Now that you understand it intellectually, I ask you: if no one was holding an ultimatum over your head: which would your gut choose? Find a place to be alone,uninterrupted, close your eyes and focus on that question ... what do you feel? After you know what you feel, what do you think?
Best wishes!
...............................
|
