A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am on the pill, but I just started using it a few months ago and I am not very good about taking it at the same time everynight (next pack I will take in the AM so I do better) And there have been some times where I have forgotten until the next day and had to get caught up. My boyfriend and I are sexually active and he doesn't like using a condom. I told him that I am nervous about my pills. He thinks if he pulls out that it will be fine. If he pulls out does that mean that you wont get pregnant?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007): It shouldn't be solely up to you to take care of contraception. Him pulling out will not work so talk to him again about condoms. If he refuses then you either face getting pregnant or reconsider why you are with someone who doesn't seem to respect your wishes.xxxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007): If you are taking your pills on time you will be fine. Pulling out on its own does not work. That is how I got pregnant!
There is something about your question that makes me feel there is something else going on with you, so here are my thoughts. Don't let them be too heavy for you but maybe spend some time thinking over.
Having sex does mean making babies sometimes as well as being fun. Sounds obvious I know, but that is what sex is really for, the fun bit is nature's way of encouraging you to make babies. If you aren't ready to deal with a mistake (which does happen) and it is worrying you this much, it is because you are a bit too young for all this yet.
Physically you may be ready but mentally, because of a lack of maturity which is to be expected, you are not. Don't grow up too soon. Neither are you in a financially stable situation to deal with it. I don't mean to get all heavy on you, but you are under age and should not be worried about this stuff, life should be free of such responsibility.
Have you thought what you would do if you did get pregnant? Not just in a remote way, but really? How would your boyfriend feel and have you discussed it? If he said, well it would be a real heavy thing but he would support you, fine. Would he expect you to have an abortion and how would you cope with that awful thing?
I really think that everyone should have this depth of discussion before having sex. It is part of knowing whether you are compatible. You need to understand each other and know exactly what to expect of each other. If those discussions have not taken place then your relationship is just not mature enough yet to cope with some of the potential consequences of sex.
Sadly it is NOT just a recreational passtime (though so many people seem to think so) and its consequences can not be minimalised in that way - well not unless people are particularly shallow (and I don't mean you).
Your questions shows signs that you are a responsible person, but listen to the girl inside of you who still wants to be one - not be a mother.
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A
female
reader, LauraE  +, writes (18 July 2007):
Pulling out is not sufficient. Unknown to him, he will be releasing small amounts of sperm throughout sex – this is normal. So yes, you could get pregnant. If you are on the mini-pill, then you do have to be careful about taking it at the same time each day. But if you are on the combined pill, you have quite a few hours each side. Even so, it’s best to stick to one time that you can remember easily. If by “catch-up” you mean taking 2 pills at once – that doesn’t work. If you can’t trust yourself to take the pill as instructed on the packet, then you need to use a barrier method.
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