A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need some nice ideas to do for someone close to me who has a diagnosis of terminal cancer and stuck in hospital? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2013): It's kind of hard for us to make it personal cos we don't know the person, what do they like? Are they musical, are they into gadgets, games? What's their favourite food?? I loved Tisha's idea about a different cake every week - very exciting for someone with a sweet tooth... Different flavours or colours...When I'm stressed at work I sometimes think of cake and I relax... Haha! :) Are they into reading? I love horror/ fantasy and would want shedloads of books if I was stuck in hospital... Ask them what author they like if so Are you artistic? What about making a homemade frame, then putting a pic of family pets in? Are they into arts or crafts? Bring them sewing kits, art stuff from an art shop :) Also try going on those discount websites! Not sure if I'm allowed to mention them online- Like wowcher, Groupon, they have brilliant deals on everything from electronics to furniture to gifts... Really like tisha's ideas as well... :) Wish them well xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2013): I was in the hospital after a stroke until about 3 months ago. Just go see them and stand by the bed. Talk to them. It doesn't have to be any thought out gesture. Just put in some face time.
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (26 September 2013):
 Create a home-made video of cheerful, heartfelt messages from friends and family far and wide. They can tell jokes, sing songs, wish the person well, say something inspirational or talk about their love and admiration for the person. If they can't be on the video, have them write letters to the person. Whenever the person is feeling down, he / she can watch the video and read the letters over and over again. Have the little kids draw brightly coloured pictures to put on the walls of the hospital room.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2013): Hi
I have worked with terminal cancer patients and would suggest, bring light humour in every time you visit, nothing heavy, most people prefer things to be kept light, it helps them to know that loved ones can cope.
Play their favourite music. A foot massage with favourite scented oils or cream is very relaxing and holistic and can help with discomfort.
Write poetry with them and make a little booklet gift for all their loved ones.
And please remember to take care of yourself,this is a very difficult time that you will go through.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (25 September 2013):
 If they love cake, bring a cake every week.
Bring in a DVD player so they can watch their favorite films or TV shows.
Bring in their photo albums so they can enjoy going through them.
It really does depend on what the person wants and where the person is in the stages of grief.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kübler-Ross_model
If they are in the early stages and haven't accepted their diagnosis then don't push them to do so.
If it is a relative then talk with the hospice carers and ask what you can expect and how best to help.
Do your very best to help the person maintain dignity, which can be so difficult in a hospital setting.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 September 2013):
Is it a child, teenager or adult? Young adult or older? Male or female?
Bring books and magazines that the person enjoys. Music on an MP3 player and earphones. Noise-cancelling earphones to keep the din of the hospital out and reduce stress.
If the person is in a ward that allows it, flowering plants and foliage plants for color and airfreshening.
If the person has pets, make sure the pets are tended.
If the person has a garden, make sure the garden is tended and bring plants or veggies from the garden.
Offer to write letters for the person, take dictation so they can rest. Or bring in stationery and stamps and a pen so they can do that for themselves.
If it's a child, or even if it's an adult, bring in paper and paints so they can express themselves. Another way to create art is to bring in magazines that they can use to make collages.
I really liked the caringbridge.org site which allows people to keep abreast of the news in cases like this. Saves a lot of phone calls.
Ask people to send cards and create artwork for the room.
Prepare healing, nutritious and delicious food that the person loves and bring it to the hospital.
Just be thoughtful. What would YOU want if you were the one in the hospital with the devastating diagnosis?
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