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female
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anonymous
writes: I am 21 and I don't have the most experience. I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half and the most we have ever done is some heavy petting. I don't know for sure but I think he might be a virgin (he's 27). We have a great relationship but I am ready to try some new things but he seems like he could care less. I need to know how to try and work up to sex. I'm a little uncomfortable with just approaching him about it. I'm starting to get desperate and lately I've been getting mad at him for no reason. I really want something to happen sometime very soon. I would appreciate any advice, my friends are all out of ideas. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2005): Don't you think someone would know after a year and a half of dating if their boyfriend was a strong Christian, I would hope I would notice something like that.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2005): I know a lot of men who haven't and/or dont have sex until they are married. Maybe this is the case with your man? He could be a very strong christian --u do need to talk about it let him know hwat you feel, and find out what he wants --your relationship should play out from there.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2005): You need to communicate your feelings to him. I am amazed that you both have been in a loving relationship for 18 months and haven't had sex yet?? Usually, men are so anxious to have it...a girl has to beat them off with a stick, on the first date.
He may have a low sex drive, in which case he should see a medical doctor to discuss this with him. Or he may not feel confident in his sexual abilities. You two need to talk, very honestly and openly. Be patient, loving and supportive but get him talking. Your feelings to experience sexual intercourse are normal and healthy. His is not. Talk to the guy and then once you pinpoint the problem...go slowly from there.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2005): You have a problem in your relationship, not with SEX but with communication! And if you want to f*ck him, it's not hard. Just get naked. Stroke his willy. Hop on.
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reader, becky05 +, writes (12 July 2005):
Tell him how you feel!!! Maybe hes scared to make the first move because he thinks that you are uncomfortable with sex and he doesnt want to upset you.
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female
reader, pinksoftkitten +, writes (12 July 2005):
Hi there. After a year and a half, I would have expected more than just heavy petting! Your boyfriend obviously finds you attractive, and loves you, but I must admit that there is obviously a problem. Do you know his history as far as women are concerned? I would tend not to be angry with him, as this will push him further away, and what you really need is for him to feel safe enough to confide in you. I'm sure he realises there's a problem, but he finds it hard to talk about. Instead of getting cross or frustrated, explain to him that you love him dearly, and you want to express your love for him by making love to him. Reassure him you love him, and don't put so much pressure on intercourse, as this will turn him off. Ask him questions like how old was he when he lost his virginity? If he stalls, you know that's where the problem lies. Tell him you would love to be the first woman he made love to, and for every bit of information he gives you, accept it in a loving manner. The poor man is obviously finding this situation hard, so treat him with kid gloves, but explain how important you feel sexual intercourse is in a loving relationship, and how important trust and communication is. Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, Courts +, writes (12 July 2005):
hi therethis answer is twofold. firstly we need to uncover what your boyfriends preferances are around sex.find out what he likes and dislikes about it. talk to him about this. i believe that talking about your sex preferances with your partner can highten your sex lives, not only will he know what to do but also knows what turns you on. so tell him the same about yourself. be open.about him being a virgin! yes men are a shy emtionally.discuss it with him. wanting sex with someone your love is wonderful.make him want the same thing as much as you. try new things. maybe you know what he fancies and maybe try dressing up. maybe this will stimulate him and he might drop hi guard that he is holding around himself.get creative and sexy. not only will it turn him on, but you'll feel great to.don't forget protection. no glove means no love.cheers
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A
female
reader, Emmie Lou +, writes (12 July 2005):
Unfortunately it sounds as though you need to be a little blunt with him. You need to talk as he could be feeling just as apprehensive and not wanting to push you into anything (or ashamed if he is a virgin) - however guys find it harder to talk than women. Buy him little presents as hints to start with and if that doesn't work - take the plunge, you have nothing to loose (sexually) You can explain how much you care for him, but feel there is something hanging over you both and you're afraid it will put a strain on your relationship. Tell him that whatever it is he is finding difficult you won't judge him on it, you want to be there for him and visa versa. Build on the communication and trust in your relationship and great sex will follow. If it does turn out he is a virgin - make a plan to build on things together.
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