A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'd like to take a break from my boyfriend for about three weeks in order for him to miss me and appreciate me more. However, as much as I'd like to do it, for the next few months my company with be low so there'll be not many people around to get me through the three weeks and provide me with company that will give me strength. Please advise
View related questions:
a break Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (15 May 2013):
 Having a break to try and force him into feeling something is a really dumb idea, if anything it will backfire on you and he will probably enjoy the freedom so much he wont want to get back together.
You cannot take a break from relationships, either you are with someone or you are not. If you are having problems you need to learn to talk about them, COMMUNICATION is key in relationships and without it you will never work. Try TALKING to him if you are upset about something!
If you feel you spend too much time together and would like him to 'miss you' a little bit, then have a night or two apart each week, that will have a better effect than breaking up temporarily. Time apart is crucial in relationships, ever heard of the saying 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'? Well that is sort of true for people in relationships, because a bit of time alone where you have your own seperate interests is healthy and means there is more to talk about when you do see each other again. But breaking up for 3 weeks indicates a far bigger problem than just wanting him to miss you, if you broke up with him he will start to think you dont want him anymore and he may well move on.
Taking 'breaks' are for silly teenagers messing around with their boyfriends in the playground. Dont be so childish, and dont play games. If you are unhappy about something in your relationship, then talk to him about it. That is the only way to resolve it.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 May 2013):
 I don't know, OP, personally I am very skeptical about " breaks ", I do not get their purpose. If there are problems in a relationship, a couple tackles them TOGETHER, talks them out, finds a strategy or a compromise, ... basically that's what being a couple is about, facing things together... when you 'll be married and with children, you won't have the luxury ( and it would not be a good idea anyway ) to say " Ok, this week you pissed me off, or you did not send me flowers ... so I am going to go away for one month to teach you to behave "...
If the problems and the incompatibilities are such that cannot be worked out TOGETHER, then perhaps it's time to call it quits.
Like, if you feel your bf is unattentive or neglectful or bored with you... sure, if you make yourself scarce for 3 months he might stand up and notice... but what about next mont or in 3 months or 6 ?... If he does it again, what , you take another break , are you going to have to resort to attention-grabbing tactics forever ?..If you always have to pull his sleeve to get his attention, is he the right person for you ?...
I think you should deal with this in other ways, get to the root of the problem between you, and see if you can work it out, or not, once for all.
Said that, if you decide to proceed, 3 weeks aren't that long, you should be able to cope. Consider yourself bolstered :) , you can always write to Dear Cupid if you feel down. Or, if you really get depressed, call an helpline, they are trained to active listening, and letting you vent and explore your feelings without interfering with your decisions.
Actually, I'd take that as a wonderful occasion to make friends ... with yourself and discover that you do not need as much support from the outside as you think.
Haven't you got a passion, an interest, something that you always wanted to try, learn or do , and you never got around to ? Now it's the moment to immerse yourself in it .
Sign up for some class- learn languages, or cooking or to play an instrument. Do volunteer work. Pick up a new sport. READ , books are among the best friends you can have.
Whatever you set up to do, try and take it not just as a ruse to kill time until you can contact Prince Charming again, but as a GIFT you are giving to yourself, the gift of " me time " for becoming a well rounded person ( or, more well rounded than you already are ). Good luck !
...............................
|
