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age
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writes: I just caught my husband masterbating to images on the internet. When I confronted him, he said he does this often. I am a 25 year old, 92lb girl, many guys say he is a fool! I'm a very mellow person, and I happen to enjoy porn a lot too, so I didnt freak out on him, but I'm really hurt. I'd expect this from him when I'm old, but not now! We've only been married for a year and a half! What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah, I completly understand that, on his defense. I have 7 brothers, so I really am accustom to that kind of thing. My problem is that even though I know it's really not a big deal, I still cant help feeling like i just dont cut it. Like no lingure in the world can make me feel sexy now, and for that reason, I will feel akward in bed with him. As I process this and get good feedback from people like you, it is really helping me to move on at a quicker pace, so many mahalos to you! From the bottom of my heart, I don't know how I could process this without you guys.
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female
reader, notinthesane  +, writes (9 May 2008):
 I am very aware that my boyfriend watches and enjoys porn when I'm not around. He actually tells me about porn that has recently purchased. I don't have a problem with it. I know that he appreciates me and loves being with me. Sometimes men just love to be with themselves too. Don't sweat it at all. Anyone will tell you, it doesn't matter how sexy, thin, or simply gorgeous you are, science shows that men will always look at other women. He is faithful to you and that's what matters.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): I would not be bothered honey with this at all. I love porn too and I would love for my husband to masterbate before coming to bed cause at least then when he gets at me it is gonna last a lot longer. That is just a picture and you are the real thing, tits ass and pussy right there next to him
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAw, I dont want you to think that you were of no help to me. In fact I got a lot out of your feedback. I asked the question knowing that it was a contravercial matter. I had to process it, and time heals everything, you know? I've kinda acceptred it for what it is, I cant change him, dont want to. It's not why I married him. I can stick around and prepare myself for the next let down, in hopes that he dosnt take it so far as to hire a prostitute off craigs list-eek, or I can move on, learn from this experience. Bit your imput meant a whole lot to me! Thanks, uncle! ALOHA!
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male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (9 May 2008):
 Ok, reading your comments, it seems that there may be more of a problem than I thought. Since I only look at porn when I'm bored or desperate, I'm not sure what to say. I can understand that porn offers variety ('the spice of life') and may appeal to people for that reason. But I can't totally understand a compulsion to constantly seek out and enjoy porn.
I hope that some of the other aunts and uncles can help you a bit more here.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo, I probably wasnr completely clear about my problem. My husband knew I love to watch porn, with him. Part of my being faithful was understanding that my masterbating to the thought of another man was sort of, well, mentally cheating, and although it isnt cheating in the traditional sence, it has a very similar effect. He chooses to watch it without me, often. So, identifying it as a problem wasnt hard. Like I said, I am a very easy going girl, and if this were your typical situation where i wasnt sexually available for him and he decided to release himself once in a short while, I would understand it. I respect him, however, for not telling me he wouldnt do it again. We both know he will, offten, it's just a matter of wether or not I want to be with someone who will choose to continuously crush my young, sexy self!
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reader, oldfool +, writes (8 May 2008):
92 pounds.... er, what's that in kilos? I presume it's a bit less than 40 kg. Sounds nice!
Now to your question. Is it the porn that worries you, or the solitary masturbation? Even a man with a partner will masturbate, and not just in her presence. It's not sick, and it's not uncommon. It doesn't mean he's not interested in you. Just think of it as giving him a little space. It sounds like he's bursting with sexual energy and a little bit spilt out on the side!
If, on the other hand, you find he is spending huge amounts of time looking at porn by himself and your sex life is suffering, then you have a problem. From what you said it doesn't sound like that, so I don't think you should freak out about it too much.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): I can't understand your problem, you say youre into porn too. Maybe you need to review your life and your beliefs.Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question yes, 92lbs seems frightfully skinny, but, I have been little all my life, just born this way, some people just are, no matter how many cheese burgers I throw down:) I'm just gonna try to not take so much offence to what my husband chooses to do with his time, and in the meantime, I'm gonna start doing the things I stopped doing for him. No, I dont mean cheating, but start going to regge shows, go back to college, meet new friends instead of spending every moment of my free time trying to be a perfect wife. I was raised to believe that marriage ment that you were both on the same page, and that means you do your best to not hurt the other person. Maybe the best thing for me to do is be more concerned about myself-andI dont mean my weight;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): Sometimes guys just like to handle themselves. It not a reflection of how he feels about you. It's very healthy and natural. There is no reason to be hurt or offended by it.
Don't be concerned. To be honest, I'm a little concerned about your weight. Maybe you should eat a cheeseburger hunny because a grown woman should not weigh less than 100 pounds. It's just not healthy.
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female
reader, bfly36 +, writes (8 May 2008):
 I had a similar situation with my soon to be ex and i was devistated. I am an attractive girl and thought i wasnt pretty to him. Truth is alot of men do this what matters is , how often, some men can become addicted to pornography and that is when it will start to affect your marriage. Probe and ask in a way that is not offending to him and continue to monitor him, if u feelits out of hand i suggest some counseling for him but then again men dont like to go to counseling. There is some info online about porn addiction that you could look up that could help you. Good luck.
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