A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A month or so ago, I got drunk at this party and this guy came onto me and kept on kissing me and made flattering comments which I appreciated at the time and was attracted to his intelligence and the interesting conversations we had. He eventually asked for my number and later got in touch saying if he wanted to get together sometime.I am also anxious if anyone has found out about what happened, because this is the kind of things I don't do and worrying about getting a reputation. Also, I have sort of been seeing someone else for a few months. Its nothing official, but I think he likes me.There was another party recently and he was there (I told him that I was going to be there, just to be friendly) and I felt really uncomfortable that he was there and tried to avoid him, which I felt guilty about. I didn't mean to possibly lead him on. Also, this othet guy that I've been seeing was there and he made some subtle gestures such as touching my hand. It also turns out that they're both friends which makes me feel even worse about things.On this note, I do have a habit of worrying about things and disappointing people.What should I do? Accept that I can't make everyone happy and that I should not get drunk?
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (20 December 2010):
 So, you're an adult. You're not in any official relationship. And you're worried about having done something wrong?
I guess I'm confused. You haven't done anything wrong. You flirted with a couple of guys, it's not like you took them home and had sex with them, did you?
It's, historically speaking, very common for women to have multiple suitors. You can actually go on dates with them too and you wouldn't be doing anything wrong as long as you're clear about your intentions. Those intentions, "I like you and I want to see if there is something more there."
Again, you didn't do anything wrong. If you had a boyfriend and you were flirting that's different, but I don't see that as the case here. It is important for you to realize that you cannot make everyone happy, as that is an unrealistic expectation of yourself, but beyond that I don't see you doing anything to be ashamed of.
Be proud of who you are and have confidence in yourself. It doesn't matter what other people think.
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