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female
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anonymous
writes: Was I abusive? I got in a fight with my fiance a while ago, and I was getting my stuff packed to leave and walked out of the RV that we were living in with my bags. Then he locked me out, but I realized I didn't have my purse or keys, so obviously I couldn't go anywhere. I kept knocking on the door but he wouldn't open up. I don't remember if I told him that I forgot my keys, but he just kept me outside. I was getting angrier than I've ever been and got a can of beespray and broke the little side passenger window to his RV-which I know was crazy. But the thing is, I would never just break a window or anything if I was just mad-it's just that he locked me out and I felt helpless. I don't want to make excuses for my behavior, but was what I did abusive? He always said the difference between me and him was that he only threatened to break my things and I actually did. Many times before this incident if we got in a fight he would block the driveway with his car so I couldn't leave and he would threaten to break my keys, would throw my camera and cell phone, and even got a shovel in his hand and threatened to ruin my car. I'm asumming we are both to blame, maybe both abusive, but the thing is I actually broke something. But, then, later he was helping me pack the second to last time I tried to break up with him and he threw my shoes in the bushes that were twenty feet high so they got stuck and he threw my suitcases in the trunk of my car so forcefully that it broke a piece of my car inside. I thankfully finally broke up with this guy about a month ago, but I was just wondering if breaking his window was so wrong?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm just asking if I was abusive. Why is that so hard to comprehend? I think I worded the question very concisely, and it was all true. To clarify, yes, I do think that he was physically and emotionally abusive to me. But, my question is: was breaking his window abusive? The sentence I just wrote is my question, to those of you out there who seem to not understand. Thank you.
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (18 November 2007):
 You need to make up your mind , why are you asking these questions? You only posted a question a little while ago asking if he was abusive. Now you are asking if you are abusive.
If these are real questions I suggest you sort it out between the two of you or alternatively dont speak to each other again. Or if there are bigger issues, try asking a question without masking it as something else. That way people might give you some real advice.
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