A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello,This may sound very strange and I am not sure if it is a problem or not. I seem to be able to relate to everyone or anyone regardless of age sex ethnic group etc and I have been told by people that they feel a connection with me. I don't feel it with them and mostly indifference. I am always nice to people and try to have sympathy and empathy. Like for example being told that I speak or write in their language. I don't take advantage of anyone or mislead them or mean but it is worrying me that I have the capacity to do that if I wanted to. May be I am not making sense. I can discuss and debate many topics from physics, philosophy, music, fashion, literature etc so I have a broad knowledge and generally with people and their interests I can talk to them about it so they feel they can open up to me about their problems.I notice I have a knack for making people feel very comfortable and open I also know that I could manipulate if I wanted to. It just bothers me that I can relate to people may be I am not genuine, I rarely give away much about myself in conversation so it is not like I am doing all the talking either. I know I do give a lot and I never ask for anything back. I did a personality test and said I was covert schizoid personality disorder. Is there something wrong with me?. I probably make no sense. Thanks in advance. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (5 May 2011):
 Don't do them online tests, they are absolute crap and tell everyone they are sick and have some type of problem. If you ever worry about your mental health or state of mind then contact "MIND" the charity for mental health or your own doctor.
If you had a schizoid personality disorder, you wouldn't need a online test, your behavior would be so strange that your doctor, family and friends would know and you'd already be under the care of mental health.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2011): You sound fine to me...but then who am i to judge ? are we all not a little nuts in some way...there isn't anyone on this planet who could do a personality test and make the mark of perfect...and if they say they can ?? Then one could also label them a narcissist. I would take no notice of this label and be very careful about your self BELIEF, please keep it positive, why do you want to be put in a certain personality box anyway...be happy with your own uniqueness and nature that actually sounds very niceEveryday a new label ...your not for sale so don't label yourself
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 May 2011):
 Don't trust silly personality tests. Only a professional can diagnose anyone, such as a psychiatrist or psychologist. A test you take, of any kind, is horribly flawed and would put anyone who takes it on a personality disorder just for poops and giggles. Probably, even if you do have a personality disorder, it is most likely not the one you ended up with the test results of. So discard that. As for yourself... your question is unclear. You get along with people of all ages... well that's a good thing. You have the ability to do all that. Why do you see that as such a problem? Some humans are naturally gifted with the ability to get under others skin and have them open up. You are aware that this gift also puts you in a position where you could abuse that trust, as with all power comes responsibility.You take the right choices, not manipulating them or using them, and not spread the information they give you. If them opening up to you is bothering you then you could try to stop sending out the signals that you want them to talk to you. It is difficult but you can change that, if that is what truly bothers you. Nothing wrong with you... you're not a but case just because you are able to connect with others. Even if it is one sided! I went to a psychologist who told me that as a child I was schizoid (children tend to grow out of it which is why children aren't diagnosed). So I know how that part of it feels. But nothing you say ring any bells to how I experienced the "difficulties" of being schizoid. First of all you TALK to people, and people approach you. As I was when I was a child/teenager I didn't talk to people or wanted to approach other humans at all. So no, that test you took I think you can completely discard.
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A
female
reader, LW +, writes (2 May 2011):
Hi there,To me it doesn't sound like you really have much of a problem, If people feel comfortable with you that is good, obviouslly as long as you only have good intentions for people in your heart! Being empathetic, knowledgable and being a good listener sure doesn't seem like a problem in my view! :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011): Covert schizoids are nearly always highly manipulative women who have in the main had highly unsettled childhoods. They tend not to accept situations well and will look for the worst in everything to justify their inner dislike or indifference. They have the ability to charm and act the part but really are quite disinterested in others and often look down on them. My sister suffers from all these traits and she can only empathise or feel emotion and pity for others in a work place environment ie. when she is gaining something from the situation ie/ money - she finds it well nigh impossible to do something for nothing or no return. People suffering from this also rarely share or provide any personal information about themselves - normally incase they feel someone might use it against them at some later stage. This can be cured by taking a deep interest in someone with a problem and seeing your way to helping them through the whole cycle from beginning to end - not just lending an ear and dipping in and out. This will challenge your pateience and your genuine feelings to the limit. Me time is very important to these persoanlity types so try not to spend too much solitary time even though you probably love it.My sister finds it difficult to empathise with people or to enjoy and participate in a group and it is a quite a false way of carrying on although she does it well and very few see through her. She won personality of the year at her company so it shows you how good she is at it. I have spoken to her in depth and she like your post knows she could manipulate and control others but tries not to and to curb these nastier traits. I would suggest some psychological support if it is causing you upset and to see where it all stems from although this can be difficult to pin point and work through.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011): You sound like a very smart girl and good listener who is perceptive of others and has well-rounded knowledge. This will definitely help you get along with your co-workers and that is important. It's ok that you don't connect emotionally with people even though they are opening up to you--that does not mean you are not genuine.I wouldn't become hypochondriac about it--I would see it as a positive thing. What kind of personality test did you take? Is it a reliable one? You should see a professional if you want a real diagnosis--taking quizzes by yourself is probably not very accurate. Just make sure you don't give and give until you wear yourself out, and don't let others take advantage of you. Know what your boundaries are...What kind of people DO you feel a connection with though?
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