A
female
age
30-35,
*teph0205
writes:I recently split with my boyfriend of 4 years, i was having doubts about the relationship and mentioned it to him but also said i needed more time to think about it. then when we spoke again he decided we should split and i didn't want to lose him, i feel like i should not have said anything to him in the first place as we would still be together otherwise, now it is too late and i am so upset about it and miss him so much. the reason i was having doubts is because i had trouble trusting him but i still love him very much and don't know what to do. i think his mind is really made up now. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Kenj +, writes (1 August 2010):
 He is either with someone else, has moved on or is protecting himself from being hurt again and I dont blame the guy for any of those.
Rember that life is what passes us by while waiting for something to happen.
If he is with someone else and you love him then dont ruin his life anymore than you have. If he really doesnt want to know you should forget him and move on.
A
female
reader, Dr.Ski +, writes (1 August 2010):
Awww, Believe me, if you cant trust him, then sod him! i know what its like, when you love someone so much, and it all ends. and when you were together you felt like you was the lucky one, You never wanted it too end, even if things did get stale after a while. You find yourself crying at most random points of the day. But he comes too mind mostly at night, and when you have music on. But the best thing too do is push on, and forget them. Try and meet someone new, Your first love, isnt always your last! you keep searching, because i know you will find someone well worth the search! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010): Well, you are the one who broke it off, and he accepted your decision. Perhaps part of why you are so upset is because you had the "upper hand" when you decided to end it, and now he has the say-so.Now: what makes you think that if you had difficulty trusting him while you were in a four-year relationship that something has changed in his behavior? In other words, did you have good solid evidence while dating that he wasn't trustworthy? If you did, what has changed now? Has something happened to cause you to think you can have more confidence in this area?You said after you broke it off with him, you two talked once more, and this time HE decided splitting was a good idea.So now you have a choice: you can ask to meet with him once more and try to make a convincing argument as to why you should give things another go. Then it will (still) be his decision to either "vote" yes or no. The "balance of power" so to speak has tipped from you to him.If you think his mind is really made up, however, you could keep your dignity and just not approach him. PERHAPS in time he will get in touch with you and want to try again.......even though you've already given it four years of both your lives......
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